15 people who should never, ever be considered to play Spider-Man

With a new Spider-Man movie in the offing and news that the character will be free to appear in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it's time to start looking for a new actor to play Peter Parker and his web-slinging alter ego. Let others come up with shortlists of who should play Spider-Man, we're going to narrow the field and rule out the people who shouldn't be allowed within sniffing distance of the role. You're welcome!