Review: Avatar

No, sorry, that film sucked big time. I finally saw the light afterwards; because the special effects are too overwhelming for you to see the real meaning of this film. Why don't people go and see Pocahontas instead? James Cameron is just a stupid bastard who doesn't even know how to make a good film. Titanic, for example.

I've still not seen it. Nearly went on Monday, but saw Youth in Revolt instead, which was great fun.

Or you could be a bastard terrorist funding villian and watch a pirate copy because you didn't have enough enthusiasm for a cliche tech-demo.
But that's illegal and stuff.

>>James Cameron's log<<

Dear Log,
mission accomplished, either by hype or because of forum triggered arguments, I made all people on Earth go and pay extra few bucks for shiny version of Pocahontas. Imagine, after Titanic they still believed I would serve them something original.
Oscars on their way, all in name of fighting net piracy. District9? What's that? 3d > 9. Moon? What's that? Pandora > moon.
Love being me. I always win.

Ok, felt I needed to see this to give it a chance.
It was...what I expected. Loud, pretty and nice explosions shackled to a by-the-numbers plot and characters straight from sci-fi 101.
Couple of issues though - why did the powerloader have a great big knife? Never once used or explained other than "and then...he pulls out a giant robot knife!!!!".
And the Corporate Villain - preferred him when he was Burke in Aliens. Same for Vasquez.
Very well made and the Blu-Ray will look incredible, just felt like I was watching somebody else playing Halo for the last hour.

3/5

Pretty much as expected.

Incredibly well made, jawdropping cgi, cliched and simplistic plot.

The 3d has given me the mother of all headaches though.

I like the fact that this site allows for so different points of view without getting into flame wars or kinda. Yet, at least...

Thank you very much Goatboy for posting this Utube review.

What F***er said that......

That review is excellent. Still can't get away from his "It rubs the lotion in its skin" voice creeping me out though.

Edited at 14:56 on 04/02/10

Ponce!

I've just watched a sample from a scene release that had the hero facing off against a beastie pawing the ground. He ran towards it shouting and it backed off.

Lifted almost entirely from Withnail & I?

The guy that explained why The Phantom Menace sucked has reviewed Avatar.

Pt1:

Pt2:

Edited at 13:08 on 04/02/10

Loved it. That's me eating my words then. Wouldn't be that good at home though.

I turned up late to the cinema in the end, nobody standing at the door to take my ticket, so I just wandered in anyway, but noticed before going in a big cardboard box of 3D glasses. Film was just about to start, and trust me as I fucking open them to realise I've picked up the toddler size glasses and spend most of the film trying to hold them against my face

Edited at 01:59 on 31/01/10

Booked tickets to watch it this afternoon. It's a 5 and 3/4 hour round trip to watch this damn film, because it'd seem pointless to watch it without the MAGIC of polarised lenses.

Also because I've been sitting around insulting the film in my mind for a good while now, and I've become a little annoyed at myself for judging it without seeing it.

Jesus Christ though, someone put a cinema closer to me, no wonder I don't go so often

Just seen this at the cinema.

I can see why it divides people, the plot is nowhere near original, but you could argue that it's thought provoking. The fact that this has to be one of the most visually striking films ever will always hinder anyone trying to defend the plot though.

Anyway, fully agree on the 5 stars. If I get the chance and re-mortgage the house to afford the current 3D cinema fees I can go and see it again.

Oh, I'm not begrudging it, I knew fine well what I was getting into. :D

I'm with Goaty on this one. Getting to the cinema is a massive deal now, and the movie would have to be something I really, really want to see to make me not spend the time doing something with the missus. She has no interest in aliens and blue people, so this one would be a go by myself one. Avatar sadly isn't it. A tech demo and curiosity only as far as I'm concerned.

I'll wait for DVD. Even the 3D doesn't massively interest me.

Edited at 07:23 on 28/01/10

Not going to get any easier, my friend - reason I don't see as many movies as I used to? An eight and a ten year old.

Re: Tron. I think the updated effects are more in suited with the fact that computers have changed vastly since the first one (which almost has a Metropolis feel to it). It's almost like "yeah bitches, we can do curves with the lightbikes now!"

IMHO.

Reasons I didn't see it? A now 3 month old.

Edited at 07:09 on 28/01/10

Seriously? I can't believe this many people on the site haven't seen Avatar. I loved the film but even if it hadn't appealed to me, I still would have paid £12.50 or more to see it, mainly to check out the new technology, but also to see what all the fuss is about, to see what James Cameron did next and because, at nearly three hours, it's not like you don't get your money's worth.

It's too easy to say "you can't knock it until you've seen it" but...well...

I *have* seen it, and i didn't like wearing the stupid glasses, or paying $3 for the privilege.

Plus sometimes they didn't work, perhaps because I wasn't wearing my regular glasses, and when that happened it was like being hit of the head with a big pillow of "HEY, YOU'RE WATCHING A 3D FILM". Which was annoying.

Still. Love me some Michelle R, and I never tire of watching cartoon spaceships take off and land in imaginary places.
(Further reading: All Star Wars Prequels).

I'll chime in with an "I've not seen it either".

Also, regarding Tron, I'll say it again, it would be more fun if they used the original style effects. A man stuck in an 80s video game.

I haven't seen it either. I did entertain the notion of going during Christmas, but other more important things kept cropping up.

I am looking forward to Tron 2 mind, and it sounds like it's using the tech in a much more imaginative manner, in that the real world stuff is 2d but in the machine world it's 3d.

I watched about 20-30 minutes of it online before I got tired of rolling my eyes. I bookmarked it so I could go back but I really can't be bothered. Fuck seeing it in the cinema, it's £12.85 for 3D and I wouldn't pay that for a film I'm actually interested in, let alone Avatar.
Fuck 3D in general really, it's gimmicky nonsense that should have died out 50 years ago. I'm not sitting in a dark cinema with glasses on like some twat and paying extra for the privilege. I can't believe the electronics companies think people are going to do the same in their own homes.

So it's a shiny bauble of a film that doesn't stand up outside of gimmicky 3D glasses?
That's what I feared, Cameron finally became distracted by the technology and forgot to write a decent script.
Shame really.

Ali will kill me for it, but let me say it: good! At least your reception won't be influenced by fancy glasses.
Seriously speaking, only watching it in cinema makes any sense. Without flashy 3d effects it's just an ordinary film (guessing, 'cause haven't seen it without effect) with more than underwhelming plot and cast (that's granted).

Going to the cinema is a huge deal for me, and not for Avatar. I'll wait till May for the DVD, can't even be arsed to download it.

Ha, now just watch as we come up top in google for "fucking twinks".

See it at the cinema you fucking twinks.

I haven't either, it'll be a DVD rental for me

The cabbage patch, oh my.

Still haven't seen this. Seems I'm the only person on Earth who hasn't, given the sales figures. Now that the hype has died down, is it still a must-see experience?

Sticks you at the back?
That sucks balls. The only cinema I've been to where they got the slope of the auditorium correct was the UGI at Greenwich, that way you could see comfortably over the head of even the tallest person.

I pay full price, but the person with me gets in for free. The usual price is around £6.

The position depends on the cinema; the Empire at Rubery is excellent as most of the screens have the cabbage patch more or less in the middle, but the Odeon at Dudley sits us at the back.

Yes: cabbage patch.

Edited at 13:05 on 27/01/10

£9?
Is that with the disabled discount? Do you get a discount? Actually, you shouldn't do as you get the best position and watch the same film as us.

My ticket was nine fucking quid.

No wonder it's making so much money.

District 9 had an excellent exoskeleton sequence and it looked like the guy was hurting inside and knackered from it.

Um... There's only you talking about race here.

Finally saw this today in 3D and everything.

It's beautiful, it was fun, I cried a bit (no great shakes, I cry at some adverts).
The performances were grand - I've come to realise I love Michelle Rodriguez and everything about her - and the plot was fine and fun and fantasy.

However, James Cameron cannot write dialogue, he just... can't, i think we were 10 minutes in and I'd laughed in derision twice.
I have to take the other side of the coin when it comes to Sgt Chip Hazard or whatever his name is, although I am impressed that technology is so advanced it can motion capture a walking cliche.
I greatly dislike whoever invented the "person gets into GIANT robot and can do anything with said exoskeleton." shtick. There's always something at the back of my mind saying "that's bollocks" over and over again. (However, it happily laps up spiritual dandelion clocks.

Lastly - Jakesully the Na'vi is freakishly attractive. And that's all I can say about that till I see a therapist.

Enjoyed it (especially the second half) a lot, but it didn't stay with me that much. I'll watch it again, definitely, but not at the cinema. I'd rate it a very high 4*.

Edited at 04:08 on 13/01/10

Ok...about all this racist crap.........always saying that the Na'vi were "black characters" and in walks the "white man" to save the day........umm, am I the only one who saw 9 foot tall BLUE PEOPLE!!!!!! not BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND an editor says "we need to start looking at race in a different way"...umm, here's a thought, let's not look at the race AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

*Spoilers ahead*

I've just seen the film. I agree with most of Ali's statement in the review, but still... Astounding technically, yet the film was painfully predictable. From the first minutes the main plot was like "connect 4 dots to form a square". Not that I expect "Usual Suspects" or "Primer" type of plot, but hey... James, you spent bazillion years on that story? How about some not good/bad cliche characters? How about casting not-woodlike-one-angry-face-actor as the main protagonist? How about explaining why those marines even cared about waiting for scout mission, they had equipment to basically eradicate whomever they wanted. And I really miss wasted opportunity to develop (only slightly touched) idea of blending a person with one's avatar. That would possibly add some depth to this story of cliches.
Summing up - hell yeah, in terms of effects film melts brains, shows that CGI of the main female babe plays better than main human male actor, but I expected story which is less "fairy tale/cliches-ful".

Thing is, this site does all sorts of clever checks and stuff - even a captcha - so that means this person actually had to sign up just to post that comment.

And it was still more valid than most of those Jackass 3 comments.

Wow, you know you've made it when people spam your site

I feel richer already.

I tried clicking on your link but it didn't work! Help me, Personal Money Store!

Avatar is a nice movie. its worth getting <a rev="vote for" title="The Difficulties of Unemployment" href="http://personalmoneystore.com/payday-loans/payday-loan/ ">payday loan</a> to watch it!

Excellent, glad you liked it.

I've found it difficult to express my love for it without coming off like a fanboy. Every criticism I've read says 'the story isn't that great' but it's perfectly fine - I think, like me, it's just people trying to grab onto something, anything, that will stop them from saying 'this is a perfect film'. Because obviously that doesn't exist.

But this is pretty damn close. Some of the dialogue is creaky, some of the characters are a bit meh, but if you don't fail to be utterly thrilled by this, you're braindead.

Loved it. Is it a game changer? I don't know. Is it a pretty great movie? Without a doubt. This is a thoroughly thrilling spectacle set in a universe I would love to revisit sometime.

Nick, have you seen it?

I expect more from Cameron than looking nice - he's always delivered thought provoking intelligent action movies. Review after review has repeated the fact the story is generic and takes a back seat to the visuals. Nolan is making the sorts of films Cameron used to, whilst it would appear the King of The World is veering into Lucas orbit of becoming more interested in the tech side than delivering a movie that resonates in the head as well as the eyes. I'm not a cat, I'd like
more than cgi spaceman fights in lurid colour.

A DVD rental for me, nothing about it (reviews
included) makes me want to venture out and brave the public.
Also this fucking iPod formats paragraphs badly.

Visually it does not look shit but it's the Megan Fox of cinema, pretty but vacuous. I've yet to see anyone say otherwise or praise it for anything than it's visuals. It's a shame because I was really hoping to be surprised.

I'm glad some people are positive about it. I think the internet has put paid to people having faith in big movies delivering. Even when the trailer for this came out, people moaned that it looked 'shit' and so on.

It does not look shit.

Great review, boss. I'm really happy to see that the word of mouth surrounding this is mostly positive, as I've been looking forward to it for some time now (I loves me some sci fi, because I'm a dork). I'm just glad to see that there are numerous people whose opinions I respect singing the film's praises, because that means that I'll probably enjoy it. I'll finally be seeing it this Saturday, so I guess I'll find out for sure then.

I actually really liked Avatar's simplicity. There's no needless plot twists or machinations. Combined with excellent direction (i.e. you can actually see what's fucking happening in action scenes, slow-motion is used correctly etc) it's a real easy watch.

Technically its flawless. Visually it's near perfect. The obvious time and effort that's gone into concocting and designing the various creatures and machinery in Avatar is astounding. In sheer entertainment terms, it's 5 stars without a doubt.

if you were to judge it on story alone, it might be a three. The plot is involving and never boring, but it's extremely similar to Dances With Wolves et al.

But you don't judge films on their individual elements, you judge them as a whole. And combined, Avatar is just bloody brilliant stuff.

Really I hate attempting to critically analyse films like this. the proof is in the pudding - if you enjoy it, then it's done its job. And I can't see anyone not enjoying this.

You don't have to think it's the greatest thing ever to like it, it might not be to everyone's tastes. I just like to enthuse because I love films and I love James Cameron and this hits a total bullseye for me.

What is 5 stars anyway? Does that relate to 100/100 only? Or is there a pass rate that starts at somewhere like 90/100? Or indeed 80/100 as the math would suggest?

Avatar has many elements that can be criticised when taken out of context but as a whole it works perfectly. And while the overall story might be a retread of something we have all seen before, the real quality is in the viewing.

Besides, it's not like the story is so unoriginal that it IS Dances with Wolves with some blue aliens CG'd in. There's still plenty there to keep you wondering what will happen along the way. It's just that a simple, relatable story befits the showcase for this world that JC has created.

This is 5 stars, no doubt about it.

Edited at 06:44 on 17/12/09

"the single greatest technical achievement in modern cinematic history"

"Avatar is relatively ordinary when it comes to plot"

"Avatar certainly won't win any awards for originality"

"The level of creativity and artistry on show is simply astounding. "

So a boring unoriginal plot but it looks pretty? And this equates to 5 stars? Pass

Does it have the single most audacious opening shot ever committed to film?
Unobtanium, War Itch...just cannot muster enthusiasm for this no matter want I read. And Lang will always be The Party Crasher from "The Hard Way" with his blonde hair and "from me to you...no, from me to you"
mental.

Thundersmurfs. Haha I forgot I made my avatar of avatar of avat...a..af.a

Look at it this way bjlangley. Carl Sagan once said that "the beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together."
Film is like that too. It doesn't matter if the story is wholly original or not it's all about how the whole thing goes together.

Edited at 03:33 on 17/12/09

I feel like such a philistine regarding this movie. I keep reading it's technically brilliant etc, but they're blue. And have pointy ears.

It disappoints me that the story is only so-so yet it's still a 5 star movie. So it's that on aesthetics alone? Or is it just not an original story, but nothing particularly wrong with it?

I feel like I'm missing something crucial about this.

"Look into my eye"

Really looking forward to seeing this. Cameron is responsible for some of my favourite films, and there's always a sense of occassion when he releases something. Good to see someone pushing the "industry" as a whole.