Daily Mail reviews "evil" Kick-Ass, provides unintentional comedy gold

Posted by Ali at 15:16 on 02 Apr 2010

As if you needed another recommendation to go and see it, The Daily Mail's film reviewer Chris Tookey awarded Kick-Ass one star, labelled it "a crime against cinema" and then went on a mad rant about child porn.

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15 comments.

Posted by Ali at 22:24 on 28/04/10

Ha, that's brilliant. "Quad damage" is my new aggregator of choice.

Posted by neophyte at 22:23 on 28/04/10

One word to describe Daily Mail review: fucking ineptitude.
And I'm sorry, one word is not enough. Quad damage fucking ineptitude.

Posted by Goatboy at 21:41 on 02/04/10

Daily Mail fantasticness - "Unhinged" Karzai blames "foreigners" for his country's woe.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1262993/Its-foreigners-fault-Unhinged-Karzai-lashes-international-allies-election-fraud.html

And just across the page:
"Teenage Afghan ayslum seekers in pool sex attack"
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1262984/Teenage-Afghan-asylum-seekers-pool-sex-attack-girl-13.html

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Fuck the Daily Mail, anybody with any intelligence knows that thing is a fascist pamphlet with Victorian worldviews.

Edited at 21:49 on 02/04/10

Posted by Rummaz at 21:13 on 02/04/10

My parents read the Mail so I occasionally have a flick through when I see them, sometimes just the front page headline is enough to make me laugh.

Posted by Nick at 20:07 on 02/04/10

I tried earlier but their comments were disabled, no doubt because of similar fanboy rage. I'm looking now and it doesn't look like you have to register.

Posted by Goatboy at 19:45 on 02/04/10

I blame single mothers, immigrants & muslims stealing our children's jobs and stuff.

What a fucking tool. Wonder if my comments will be published on their website? I took the time to register and everything.

Posted by Rob at 18:22 on 02/04/10

I think everything that's needed to be said has been, but I want to criticise Tookey's review too.

'His one asset as a crime fighter is that he can survive serious thrashings because his nerve-endings have been destroyed by previous beatings.'

No, surely his nerve endings were destroyed as a result of being ran over? I know I'm nit-picking and it's only a minor criticism but I feel it's worth a mention.

Could it be fair to say also that he's clutching at straws, knowing few will listen to his opinion when he brings the child porn industry into play and cracks out the underage sex figures?

In short: Christopher Tookey is an insult to film journalism.

Edited at 18:35 on 02/04/10

Posted by anonameslob at 18:08 on 02/04/10

Another way in which the Daily Mail missed the point entirely - it sees the movie as encouraging knife crime in kids - Dave aka Kick Ass is on a crusade against precisely that, he wants to rid the world of crime and he's willing to stand up and do something about it. In his own clumsy way, Dave always does the right thing, he could teach the Daily Mail a thing or two about how to conduct a successful moral crusade.

Posted by Charlotte Black at 17:33 on 02/04/10

Erm... Hm... Well.... The Daily Mail - enough said.

Perhaps the guy did get aroused by Natalie Portman in Leon and still can't get over it. Lives his life haunted by the "painful" memory and decided to fight "evil" by all means. Given he writes for a crap paper....yes! He actually does believe he's a superman!!!

Posted by anonameslob at 17:29 on 02/04/10

Look at Suri Cruise in her fetish gear! It's sick. Paedophiles are going to adore her.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1262997/Suri-Cruise-shields-umbrella-accompanies-mother-dinner-New-York.html

Edited at 17:29 on 02/04/10

Posted by Ali at 17:19 on 02/04/10

The stuff that gets me is how he keeps on talking about how her character was "sexualised" and performed "sexual acts". It's fucking creepy, to be honest.

The thing with the Daily Mail is that I don't believe for one second that the writers actually feel the way they feel at all - they're playing a part and satisfying Easily Outraged of Tunbridge Wells because they know that scandal sells papers.

It's even worse because Kick-Ass is a fantastic film, and even though 99% of the Mail's audience would have just stayed home and tutted, there are a few fence-sitting idiots who were probably turned off by their review. Actually, fuck 'em, if you're stupid enough to read the Mail then you deserve to live a life of zero fun and enjoyment.

"Paedophiles are going to adore her."

(*shakes head*)

Posted by anonameslob at 16:47 on 02/04/10

Wow, this is pretty special, I genuinely had to check this had been published today and not yesterday too. The guy must have blacked out in the cinema and tried to cover it up by writing the kind of horseshit review his readers lap up without having actually seen the film.

I guess he would have a similar problem with Leon. The point of Hit Girl if you want to get all sociological about this, is that she subverts the expectations of both childhood and femininity. She saves the asses of the other characters, she's a devoted daughter, she's smart, she can take care of herself. The costume is not provocative. Does the Daily Mail have a problem with kids dressing up as super heroes for Halloween and fancy dress parties too?

I always thought the Daily Mail couldn't possibly be as dumb as people say it is, turns out it's worse. Bad journalism, but utterly hilarious.

Posted by keyser_soze at 16:47 on 02/04/10

im sorry, i must apologise...

so we cant sexualise Chole Moretz shes young right? so is Dakota Fanning alright now?

sorry too much, im off to watch Leon, love a bit of Portman

Posted by Ali at 16:42 on 02/04/10

You said Dyke! Stop sexualising children! YOU SHOULD BE BANNED!

Posted by keyser_soze at 16:34 on 02/04/10

haha this guy obviously had some subconscious fetish problems of his own to deal with!!

hit girl is such a great character, one comparison i felt is that she reminds me of a Manga character, or the assasin girl in killbill.......

i laughed, and i laughed hard, saying cunt took me by supprise as its a 15, i dunno maybe that one word is a bit much, saying that i laughed out loud when she used it.....

great film, nick cage is back!!!!

i cant believe the guy who plays Kick Ass is the same fucker whos in 'Angus Thongs' hes totally shite in that film and has the worst cockney accent i have ever EVER heard, worse even than "Mary Poppins" Dick Van Dyke.......