Review: JCVD

I saw this last night, and quite enjoyed it. The cover of the DVD completely mis-sells it though with helicopters and explosions, and shots on the back of high-kicks and guns to the head. Decent premise, and good to see Jean-Claude does have a dash of self-awareness, but as it says at the end of the review, if his next movie is another Universal Soldier thing, isn't this all a load of old bollocks..?

I think this film can be summed up in one quick, painless conversation in your head, right now:

"Have you heard about that new JCVD fim, called 'JCVD'?"
"Is it the one where he's ironic and foreign?"
"Yes."
"OK."

As for the film, no interest in watching Van Dammit film at all. Even if it is an ironic one.

I think you already know the answer is yes.

Was that clip Van Dammit getting an erection on television?

I heard since Van Damme went all artsy, Steven Seagal is going to appear in his own arthouse movie. It's called 'Seagull' and he voices a lonely bird who flies around a lighthouse for three hours with an internal monologue about how he wishes he'd spent less time begging for crisps from tourists and more time digging for worms with his chicks.

That's honestly the most excruciating thing I've ever witnessed.