Review: Robin Hood

Owls are in this year, didn't you hear?

Halfway through and bored silly.
Can't decide where Crowe's accent is from as it veers wildly. There's been one opening battle, a couple of skirmishes and about an hour of aimless talking. I think the King is the baddie, as is Baldie McScarface as he talks French.
Crowe has actually just said "None shall pass".
It's rubbish, I'm 1hr 26mins into it and so far this has happened:
King died in battle, Robin brings crown home on his way to deliver a sword and shoots Baldy in the face.
Prince becomes Pantomime Bad King, Robin poses as dead Loxley and now Baldy is storming some place with French soldiers for reasons I don't understand.
Montage of burning map with town names on to signify the rampage of...uh...Baldy & his Frenchies.
William Hurt is talking to an owl.

In 90mins.
By this time, Braveheart had thrown the English out of Scotland and was at the battle of Culloden whilst Gladiator had entered Rome & was getting rage-y at Commodus.
Meanwhile, William Hurt is acting next to an owl, a bald dude is being a bit mean, Maximus is rescuing a sheep from a puddle (seriously) and now there's some half-assed political intrigue between Pantomime King's French wife and his mum,sans owl.
And now Robin Hood has just been beaten up by some feral teenagers and being carried through the woods like Han & gang at the mercy of the Ewoks.

What a load of bollocks.

Edited at 22:03 on 02/10/10

Is the word "fagulous" offensive? I ask because a friend of mine...

I'm so conflicted by what I've seen of this so far. Looks like utter guff one minute, might be ok the next. Crowe can phone-in this sort of role. Maybe they should have picked someone else, or made it a bit campy like the utterly fagulous Costner version.