Review: The Happening

Thank you sir, I'm a total mouthbreather at html/computer things.

You just gotta put the ID in the tags, not the whole link.

Edited at 11:54 on 24/11/10

I love the headline for this article where even Marky Mark admits the film was shit.
http://uk.movies.ign.com/articles/113/1136156p1.html

I think this is the only film I have ever seen that has literally nothing going for it. Not one thing. Bad script, bad acting, bad direction, poor cinematography (surely this should have been the new benchmark for landscape scenes in films, afterall the sky and a field are Night's equivalent of the Jackal army from The Mummy 2).

And Wahlberg's "softly-softly-looky-sciencey-windy" approach was so limp, you almost forget he's in the film. Also he called a boy of 15 a hunk.

And that was Randall driving the car, right?

Would have been a good title for this, except there isn't any blood.

The title also reminds me of that movie featured on The Simpsons once, 'The Bloodening'.

There's some really dreadful continuity errors as well, particularly in the scene where they watch the Lion on the iPhone. There's shots of loads of people reacting to it on different phones. It's a retarded idea anyway. "Look at this perfect quality full-screen video I took on my iPhone that can't even do video capture!"

I think cut a little differently, with a different score, it would make a cracking spoof. The scene with the kids outside the shack had me weeping with laughter (especially the slo-mo "Noooooooo!"). Looking forward to the comedy trailer that some internet wag will no doubt knock up soon.

As it stands though, just a total fucking mess.

And Marky Mark was using the "quiet" voice to indicate concern and fear as all around him...er...stood around watching the television or phoning their relatives. And Exposition Man clumsily laying it out in 1-2-3 fashion just finished me off. "Plants respond to human stimulation y'know, it's been proven scientifically"
Muuuuuh muuuuuh muuuuuh

I started watching this and gave up halfway through. Just fucking awful.
My patience and belief started shaky but was creaking by the time everybody magically turned up at the crossroads at the same moment.
Finally threw in the towel when Exposition Man started lecturing at a 3rd grade level about plants again, shortly after the woman on the phone to her kid and the "I hear wind outside the window" comment.
Just retarded with a complete lack of menace or point, doubt it improves any.

Ground zero was a term before 9/11, Shep.

I wouldn't recommend paying any monies to see it - it is a terrible film after all. I think you all know what to do. I read that the movie had a budget of $65m - for what? It was all shot in fucking fields and they didn't even have an SFX budget! Probably spent all their money on fucking wind machines.

Download away.

I second the opinion of wanting to see it because it'll be so shit. I remember watching a dodgy copy of 'Unbreakable' once and thought important parts of it had been missed out.

Also, I didn't like your little "ground zero" comment. I don't know why exactly... it was a very Americanised cliche. Ye get me?

Look at the bottom pic on right up there *points*
He's saying "Look, somebody pooed in my toilet when I was out, jesus christ man" and he's trying to use binoculars to see who's running away from his apartment.

He has one expression - stern.
Whatever role, it's like he just walked into his own toilet at home and discovered somebody else's poo floating in there.
Or when trying to indicate confusion or emotion, he just talks really softly.

At the end of the day, he may call himself a movie star but he is and always will be this:
http://www.markwahlbergfan.com/marky/marky40big.jpg

Come on now feel it, feel it!

It sucks because he's so good in The Departed. "What's the matter smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?" Awesome. But just so so wrong for this.

I think my favourite "huh?" moment with Wahlberg is in Planet of The Apes near the beginning. He says, with a stern look when asked where he thinks he's going: "I'm going to get my chimp"
What a tool. His brother is a better actor in Band of Brothers. And isn't a racist homophobe

Wahlberg's embarrasingly out of his depth. There's a bit where he's talking to a train driver after their train is stopped. The guy tells him they lost contact, and Wahlberg says "With whom?"

As if Mark Wahlberg would ever say the word 'whom'. I can't wait til someone sees it so I can talk about the mad old lady.

This guy has always been a one trick pony - "TWIST!!!!". Take that away and he's just dull.
Does he cameo in this one as well? Haven't enjoyed any of his films, people were telling me about Sixth Sense and I said "either the kid's dead or Die Hard is".
Watched Unbreakable and loathed it, I wanted the version with an ending as opposed to "And he was locked up for, like, ever".
Marky Mark has made 1 good film he stared in "Boogie Nights", the rest lick balls. Planet of the Apes? Fear? He's ok as a supporting dude, but standing there onscreen I just keep expecting to hear "Feel it! Feel it!" and for him to be a racist in his pants again.
Not even a DVD watch

I can see it now, "Not the bees!" and "Not the trees!" mixed to a hip-hop beat.
I'm tempted to watch it just for a laugh. The initial premise is great, the execution and explanation is just ridiculous.

Even the dumbass audience in our local cinema - the idiots who were whooping and hollering at the rape scene in Saw IV - were shaking their heads after this one. When the lights went up, there was a big chorus of 'shh' vowels when everyone whispered to their friends/partners 'that was shit'.

I'm eagerly anticpating the YouTube mashup of all the best funny bits. Seriously, this and Wicker Man and a few beers and you've got yourself a comedy night in.

Now that's a movie I'd watch.

"Zooey" sounds like the name of a character in an Adam Sandler film who lives in a zoo and is mentally retarded. Rated PG.

I like Zooey Deschanel.

I like the name Zooey.

I don't think that's enough to make me watch this though.

I loved the "heard wind come through the door" bit!
It was the most ridiculous film i have ever seen! Dont even think it deserves 1 star to be honest! Although it made me laugh more than i have in a long time (dont think that was their intention though!) I expected so much more from Zooey Deschanel, she was so wasted in this and pretty crap to be honest!
The boom mic kept coming into view as well which you'd think they wouldve sorted out.
It was so crap it almost felt like a spoof. I almost wanted to stand at the cinema counter and warn people not to go see it (although i was tired and just went home!) Complete crap!

Thanks to a million poor reviews, I now have a morbid fascination with seeing this film.

I remain convinced that one day - one sweet, beautiful day - Shyamalan will create a film that will blow all the critics away. Just so long as somebody else writes, produces and directs it.

Man, there's a dozen moments in this movie that literally defy belief they're so dumb. There's a great bit where someone's on their phone listening to someone die, and Wahlberg picks up the phone and says: "I heard some wind come through the door!"