Things that would win in a fight with the Green Lantern

At last I managed to see GL.

As a huge comic books fan I cannot pretend that this particular adaption did not suck big ass. Because it did.
Being comic fan didn't stop me from laughing my ass off while reading this article. Because most superheroes concepts are retarded, it's like modern mythology for small kids. When one gets it, it gives much more fun.

BUT - There was something positive in this movie. Not sure what, possibly because it felt like this naive type of 80' flick with Arnold/Sylvester alpha-male saving the day hero.


Edited at 20:57 on 03/10/11

"Green lametern" - AMAZING!
Bloody marvellous article, had me cackling like a fool in the middle of a crowded train- I dont look mental at all.

Do Shiznit writers even know that Hal for instance went crazy at some point and killed all his fellow Lanterns?

Why not make an article about how Hal would go crazy in the sequel.

Dating Lady Gaga, Watching Jersey Shore. Hearing that Obama will cut Medicare. Carol making him watch a Twilight marathon.

Do I have to write your articles for ya!

Edited at 17:35 on 17/06/11

@Kirsty
Precisely. They are not a comic book site, ergo why make a big stink about something that happened in comic books 30 to 40 years ago. Again, it was a weird time. Lots of stuff didn't make sense.

@Mark
Not really because the reason WHY yellow was a weakness in the comic books was because Parallax was an impurity contained within the Oa battery. When it was released from the battery the rings were no longer affected by the color yellow. Since in the movie Parallax is a separate entity alltogether, it means these rings probably never had a yellow weakness to begin with.

Now why is wood a weakness for Alan Scott I have no freakin idea... :P

But... to be fair... it's not a comic book website. I didn't even know Tweety Pie was IN Green Lantern.

As a supporter of Norwich City i find the Green Lantern VERY OFFENSIVE!!!!

That's all fair enough, but I think you're forgetting one thing: making a list of all the politically incorrect shit Adam West's Batman said and then using that to imply Bale's Batman is a racist is EXACTLY the kind of thing we'd do here. In fact, that sounds like a brilliant article.

Seriously though, Parallax is the main evil baddie in this new film, so that actually implies this whole 'yellow' thing IS relevant, doesn't it?

You don't understand. I'm utterly dismayed at the fact that the writers at Shiznit DIDN'T KNOW until NOW that Green Lantern's weaknesses once upon a time was Yellow.

I could go into WHY, but that would make me sound more like a freak. :))

(It's because of the Parallax impurity. When it was removed from the battery, the rings no longer had a weakness to yellow)

CURSES! Couldn't stop myself. :P

You're just 30 years late for the party. It was called the Silver Age of Comics and all kinds of wacky shit was going on. You can't hold that against a modern interpretation of the character. That's like doing a list of all the most politically incorrect shit Adam West's Batman said in the old tv show, and make the argument that Bale's Batman is racist, mysoginist etc etc etc.

I don't have it in for the Green Lantern at all. Well, not any more than I would have for any other terrible film.

But, the fact remains that 'yellow' is, or was at some point, the Green Lantern's weakness, and that's pretty lame. I did mention that the film doesn't actually cover this point (although it is implied because everything BAD in the film is yellow) so it's not the film, just the concept, I'm pointing out.

Wasn't hating - just laughing aloud at something.

Honestly, we have no problems with WB, other than their hilariously strict approval procedure over promotional t-shirts.

The film sucked, that's why I rated it ass. Nothing to do with the above.

And come on, whether or not this is true with the current movie/comic incarnation of the character, it's still a pretty lame secret weakness. Just a bit of fun is all.

For what it's worth, I think kryptonite is kind of lame too.

But green comes from yellow. Or is that the point, like in the same way that Superman comes from Krypton, only much, much more retarded?

Edited at 17:54 on 17/06/11

Come on man. I know The Shiznit has it in for Green Lantern because of your problems with WB but do some proper research. That has not been the case FOR DECADES. The first Green Lantern, Alan Scott, had a weakness against wood.

Got wood?

But seriously, I may sound like a bitchin' fangirl, but hatin' is not attractive.