Review: Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans

i would love to see underworld the begining,about marcus,william,victor,and corvinus.then maybe a underworld that takes place after underworld rise of the lycans,and a sequel after evolution.but underworld the begining would make a awesome film.

"Velvet Mound"
*shudder*

Yup, Ali's right.
An ex-girlfriend was/is an actress and had a part in "Cradle of Fear" starring Dani Filth. Hour 7 into shooting in a flat and I wander off to fall asleep in the spare room.
Where Dani Filth is eating his cereal in a dressing gown watching Lorraine Kelly and I'm nodding off surrounded by prosthetic heads and limbs with Filth chomping on coco pops and pointing out how fat Kelly had got "in the neck"
Bizarre couple of days.

Underworld 1 - Nightblind Vampires using machineguns & Davy Jones topless.
That was enough for me

*scrubs brain with bleach drenched shiv*

velvet mound... barf.

I once saw Cradle Of Filth live. Does that make me a fat goth chick? Goaty, don't you have a story about seeing Dani Filth messily eating his breakfast? That's how I remember it anyway.

I'll be honest, I thought the first Underworld was pretty poor but kinda dug the second one because it embraced that naffness everyone knew it already had. Plus Naked Beckinsale always scores points on the bone-o-meter.

Speaking of fat goth chicks, the missus had a flatmate they used to call "The Velvet Mound"

You can just picture her now can't you?

I saw the 1st one in the cinema because I was hoping to nob this woman, so pretended to like the look of it.
By halfway through I was gritting teeth and when the vampire that couldn't see down a dark hole came along, I got up and left.
She wasn't fat, but was Serbian and loved vampires.

These films make it an embarrassment to like vampires, thank god for Let The Right One In

Oh, and for a truly brilliant take on vampires, check out Jhonen Vasquezs "Squee's Wonderful Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors" strip called "When the sun rises"

All the fat goth chicks are moist for "Twilight" from what I've heard.

Shimmering vampires.... What a load of bollocks..... It's something that Swedish bloodsuckers actually made the concept interesting.

Was it Pratchett that said something along the lines that a vampire should make you want to cut their head off and stuff garlic down their neckhole?

Haha, it always comes down to fat goth chicks with you.

We live in a world with "Pink Panther 2" with Steve Martin, nothing surprises me.
There can't be that many fat goth chicks waiting for Tim Burton's new one to justify making this, surely?

I thought the whole point of the Underworld movies was that they were a vanity project for Wiseman and Beckinsale, yet this one has neither?

The mind boggles. Who the hell greenlighted this crap?

I saw the 1st one and it was shit. Vampires vs Werewolves = Awesome. Unless they use machine guns in The Matrix.
Utter wank, and yes, Cat from Red Dwarf as a vampire unable to see the dark.
I didn't even know they did a 2nd one, let alone this stinky loaf

2 word review - Nothing. Happens.

*waits for Goatboy's inevitable comment about crappy vampires that can't see in the dark*

That David Frost gets about doesn't he - fighting vampires the same week he interviews Richard Nixon! Where will he find the time for Through The Keyhole?!