Why I Hate... The Star Wars Prequels

Well said sir!

I happen to disagree. Yes Episode One does have some major problems, but overall I enjoyed it. Episode Two is ALMOST ruined by THAT love story, and overall I LOVED Episode Three. In retrospect, yes they could have been better, but that is saying that the original trilogy was PERFECT, which it surely wasn't (come on, what adult can really take Return Of The Jedi as seriously as New Hope and Empire?). So in the end, they accompany the older films well, and I for one think the action was very well done in all three.

Kevin Smith?
You mock the previous poster's literacy and laser-like targetting at the things wrong with the sequel? I tried, but my hands make angerfists and I can only manage to shout a desire to fornicate George Lucas. Fornicate his cranium up his anus.

Nice to see Kevin Smith on the boards here.

I've made my peace with Star Wars now. It came, it was pretty crap, life goes on. The gloss has faded now, the name doesn't have the same sparkle. Completely and entirely not fussed by Clone Wars, couldn't give two bantha shits about it.

Agree 100%. I've tried to find a single redeeming thing about the new films, and apart from the last 20mins of Sith, there are no reasons for these films to exist.

Let's go punch Lucas in the goiter.

I meant so say, "which never changes over the next TWENTY years of movie time, go figure."

I meant to say, "The dialogue between the two scenes use much of the SAME lines."

P.S. You know that a movie is really, really bad when a key scene that is supposed to be emotionally charged and riveting is, in fact, hilarious. Case in point: At the end of Revenge of the Sith, Anakin has just been suited up in his new Darth Vader outift (which never changes over the next two years of movie time, go figure) and as soon as Anakin, now Vader awakes from his prosthetic surgery he asks about Padme. When Palpatine tells Vader that Padme is dead, what does Vader say? "NOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!!!!" Except, when it's spoken through the mask with an almost operatic sound (and I mean no disrespect to James Earl Jones) you want to burst out laughing and not feel sorry for this fool-hardy fallen hero. It reminded me of that Energizer battery commerical where Darth Vader appeared and gave the same response when he couldn't take down the Energizer bunny. (You Tube it if you haven't seen it.)

More reasons why the prequels were so aweful: (1). In the original movies, all but two of the alien creatures spoke alien languages, not english. (For you Star Wars nerds out there, Yoda and Admiral Ackbar are the only exceptions.) The orignal alien creatures sounded authentic because aliens shouldn't speak a human language. (2). Also, the creatures from the original trilogy were wearing rubber masks for their custumes. While Lucas would never admit it, an actor wearing a rubber masks looks a WHOLE lot more real than a CG creature. (Notice the difference between Speilberg's original E.T. and the new CG E.T that was superimposed over the original for Speilberg's ruin, I mean "re-issue" of his classic--but, I digress.) Yes, while rubber masks for aliens and minature models may seem so 20th Century, they are, in fact REAL things--which is why they look more real on "film" compared to Lucas' CG crap which looks more like a cartoon than a video of anything. (3). The actors in the original movies had chemistry. They were interesting to watch. They interacted with one another very well. (4). This brings me to perhaps the single most reason why the original trilogy was so much better than the embarrasing prequel movies--the originals had Harrison Ford. Yes, I really believe that if any other actor had been cast to play Han Solo, then the classic Star Wars movies would not be the great classics that they are. Lucas may have imagined and produced them, but it was Ford who made them so successful.

But, I wanted to comment briefly on the "re-issue" of the original trilogy and the madness of Lucas in general. Yes, there was that unnecessary added scene with Han Solo talking to something that did not look like Jabba the Hut. (I say "unnecessary, because didn't we already learn from the previous seen with Greedo--yet another twisted scene change--that Jabba the Hut is collecting on Han Solo's debt? The dialogue between the two scenes use much of the lines). Yet, I say Lucas is mad because he makes those type of aweful changes instead of giving fans what they really want! And what would fans have really enjoyed? What about extending the Bounty Hunter scene from Empire Strikes Back?!? If Lucas is going to insert a bunch of CG stuff, why not put in additional footage of those really cool bounty hunters that we mostly only got to see from the knees down? (Instead, we get to see Yoda walking.) Also, Lucas introduced some new Rebel ships in Return of the Jedi. Why not show more footage of them (the A-Wings and the B-Wings) in dogfight battles over the Death Star? But, alas--that would have been cool; and apparantly cool was not what Lucas had in mind.

I watched the first and didn\'t so much hate it but I have yet to see the third and can\'t even remember the second now.

That sums it up for me. Damn Lucas.

Heh, you\'re not wrong.
What an enormous spacemong

Just look at his face. He\'s actually saying \"Duuuuuur\". Duuuurth Vader, aha.

I love this goofy picture
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Worst bit in The Phantom Menace was young Anakin showing what a great pilot he was. (Remember Obi-Wan saying that when he met Anakin he was already a great pilot?) Yeah, he was told to hide in a space ship and accidently flew in to space, and by pushing random buttons saved the day.

Attack of the Clones was a significant improvement - but too much rolling around in the grass being boring. And the factory scene where they dodge the dangerous robot making stuff is pointless rubbish.
Revenge of the Sith was again an improvement, significantly fewer comedy moments, but the dialogue was still poor. Having only seen it once, I don\'t think it\'s that far from the quality of the weakest of the originals.
Ewan McGregor\'s bits in the movies (especially 2 & 3) were the best of the new trilogy.

Seems to me they told the wrong part of the story. When I heard about the prequels, I remembered talk of \'clone wars\' - but most of that part of the story is in a bloody cartoon series. Should have got to the start of the Clone Wars by the end of the first movie, not the second - force Anakin to grow up and learn to be a Jedi with a fierce war going on in the background.
I don\'t hate the prequels, they do have their moments Darth Maul\'s double light saber - Yoda with a lightsaber - but essentially these were trailer moments.

But...Jimmy Smits!

Yeah: episode I was really shite; episode II was really shite; and episode III was fairly shite.

I enjoyed the third \'prequel\' more than the other two, but ultimately they\'re just special effects showcases. Any notion of them being integral to the Star Wars legacy is instantly lost because they occur BEFORE everything good happens. We already know that Yoda and Obi Wan die, that the Jedi are no more, and that LUKE SKYWALKER IS DARTH FUCKING VADER\'S FUCKING SON!! It\'s like watching the tennis warm-up before they play, but with a fireworks display happening behind them to try and make it more interesting.

I think it\'s a safe bet that if Jar Jar had a massive pair of space udders swinging between his gangly Gungan legs, Lucas would milk them.

For the record, I\'d like to be known that I quite enjoyed Revenge of the Sith (see review) and wasn\'t as offended by Clones as Goaty was. I totally agree with Menace though, I saw it twice (twice!) at the cinema and thought it was alright, then tried to watch it on DVD and just went \"Ugh.\" It\'s awful, it really is.