Ali

Rush premiere cleavage swap

Movie News | Ali | 3rd September 2013

Not that you can actually notice any difference.

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Riddick

Movie Review | Ali | 1st September 2013

I love Vin Diesel. I love his voice, I love his face, I love the shape of his big baldy head and - to a lesser extent, admittedly - I love his films. He seems like a genuinely nice guy, so when he announced he re-mortgaged his house in order to get Riddick funded, I believed him. If any other Hollywood big shot claimed they'd put their house on the line to resurrect one of their fallen franchises it'd seem like a desperate career move, but Diesel has a Fast & Furious fallback; he didn't need Riddick to happen, he just felt the character still had life left in him. And he was right.

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Send us your CV and we'll talk

Movie News | Ali | 30th August 2013

The Daily Mail has decided not to renew my contract, so from December 1st I'm suddenly, enormously available.

— Chris Tookey (@christookey) August 30, 2013

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Writer of Lex Luthor casting rumour blows goats, says anonymous source

Movie News | Ali | 28th August 2013

While the writers of CosmicBookNews.com sit back and enjoy the web traffic they've created by publishing a fake story about Bryan Cranston being cast as Lex Luthor in the forthcoming sequel to Man Of Steel, it has been reported by an unverified, unreported source that the writer of the article sucks goat dick.

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Totes Riddick

Movie Feature | Ali | 27th August 2013

Sorry, but this sort of joke is totally my bag, baby.

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The 50 absolute worst nerds to sign the Anti-Affleck Batman petition

Movie Feature | Ali | 26th August 2013

Within nano-seconds of the announcement that Ben Affleck would play Batman in Zack Snyder's sequel to Man Of Steel, nerds took to the internet to register their displeasure. Angry nerds reacting to movie news? I know, I was as surprised as you!

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We're The Millers

Movie Review | Ali | 24th August 2013

Nine years ago, Rawson Marshall Thurber directed Dodgeball but left the film's funniest scene as alternate ending on the DVD. Mid-way through the final match, one of Ben Stiller's team hits his opposite number with the ball and the game ends – it's incredibly anti-climactic. Vince Vaughn's team looks devastated. Then the credits roll. There's no punchline, they just lost, and now the movie's over. That, in itself, is hilarious. You can understand why the studio didn't want Thurber to use the ending, because it sacrifices the story and the character arcs for a bold gag. Fast-forward to 2013, and don't be surprised if you see a similarly abrupt alternate ending on the We're The Millers DVD; it's a movie with a solid comedic concept at its core but one that is ultimately forced to go through the necessary motions until it rolls to a stop.

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Ben Affleck as Batman: pros & cons

Movie Feature | Ali | 23rd August 2013

What could go wrong? All the best, Ben.

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10 actors more suited to voice Rocket Raccoon than Bradley Cooper

Movie Feature | Ali | 23rd August 2013

According to web reports filed by internet elves, handsome actor and man Bradley Cooper is poised to play the role that all of Hollywood is hankering after: Rocket Raccoon in Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy. Take it from me, the guy who has never read a comic: I've got 10 guys here that could wipe the floor with Bradley Cooper's vocal chords. Eww.

Edit: Fuck you, Ben Affleck. This took, like, two hours.

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Here's ex-Arsenal footballer Tony Adams at the One Direction premiere

Movie News | Ali | 21st August 2013

As far as I can see, he didn't take his kids. Make of that what you will.

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