Ali

News, Reviews & Features

Fair play to the monkey, he's got me bang to rights there

Movie News | Ali | 19th August 2013

The poster for Jude Law's crime comedy is 100% accurate, 1000% weird. Unless your name is Dom Hemingway, in which case it's just bloody wrong. Is your name Dom Hemingway? The Shiznit team would like to speak with you about a feature we haven't properly thought through. (Via IMP).

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Buy tickets, fight cancer, save geeks

Movie Feature | Ali | 18th August 2013

Den Of Geek present another night of scary stories from some of the UK's scariest storytellers - Paul Ross not included - and it's all to raise money for charity. Order your tickets now and enjoy a guilt-free Sunday.

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Bachelorette

Movie Review | Ali | 16th August 2013

Imagine The Hangover crossed with Bridesmaids, then take away everything that made those individual movies great, then throw in a couple of extra assholes to fill the void. That's Bachelorette: a deeply cynical movie without a single sympathetic character that wastes almost every ounce of talent involved on a threadbare plot and a script with a thick streak of nasty humour running through it.

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Kick-Ass 2

Movie Review | Ali | 15th August 2013

Remember the key word of superhero sequel The Dark Knight? Escalation. Christopher Nolan took the events of Batman Begins and used them as a foundation for the mayhem to come: how would Bruce Wayne's actions in the first movie affect the world in which he lived? Well, Kick-Ass 2 takes exactly the same approach by expanding its world, but somehow manages to feel smaller and less impressive as a result.

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It's never not a good time to post this amazing picture of Jason Statham

Movie News | Ali | 15th August 2013

This counts as a post, right? It's my day off, leave me alone.

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Plotting a graph on the effectiveness of 2013's villainous names

Movie Feature | Ali | 14th August 2013

The year in movies has been a let-down in more ways than one so far, but the biggest disappointment is the quality of the names of 2013's villains. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned evil names like Vorgon The Destroyer or Sir Killalot? Nowadays, movie villains have names like Keith and Chris and Alan. What the hell is happening?

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Alternate poster for Spike Jonze's Her

Movie News | Ali | 10th August 2013

She's the belle of the ball! (Real poster at IMP)

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Homer's tip to solve the 'Matt Damon problem' in the next Bourne movie

Movie News | Ali | 8th August 2013

With a fifth Bourne movie now official and Matt Damon still no closer to returning to the role of Bourne, Jeremy Renner is going to be asking this question a lot. (Source: Den of Geek)

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The Lone Ranger

Movie Review | Ali | 7th August 2013

Historically, the Western is a genre that requires patience. Typically, teenagers are not the most patient of people. Therefore, it stands to reason that Gore Verbinski must have been spectacularly drunk when he pitched The Lone Ranger: a 149-minute Western aimed at kids, smack bang in the middle of blockbuster season. That it flopped to the tune of $190 million is not a surprise; the fact that it is not nearly the disaster US critics heralded it as, however, is something of a welcome revelation.

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Can critics really kill a movie? Don't make me laugh

Movie Feature | Ali | 6th August 2013

Like dogs responding to a high-pitched whistle, film critics around the world pricked up their ears today when the stars of The Lone Ranger effectively blamed scathing reviews for its dismal failure at the box-office. As I'm technically a critic because I have a website and spare time and delusions of grandeur, I felt obligated to throw my hat into the ring. Then pick it up, dust it off and remove it from the ring, because the ring is stupid and even just having my hat in it for a second makes me a bit stupid too.

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