Becky Suter

News, Reviews & Features
  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 7 recap: "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Gardener's World"

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 15th November 2018

    In many ways, good leadership is a lot like gardening. You need to plant seeds of ideas, nurture growth, and sometimes get your hands dirty. You need to trust the process, and have patience whilst rooting out weeds in order to flourish. Or if you’re Lord Sugar, just pour salt on the earth so that nothing beautiful can ever grow again.

  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 5 recap: "A Load of Old Cobblers"

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 2nd November 2018

    Sneakerfactory.net (the one-stop shop for all your shoe consultation needs) provides the basic steps into how to become a shoe designer; learn how to draw, go to a design school, get a shoe mentor, build a portfolio and read plenty of books. Or, just do it because a grumpy old millionaire has told you to do it in 24 hours, and oh, can you make the canapés for the launch event as well? What even is this any more?

  • Bohemian Rhapsody

    Movie Review | Becky Suter | 25th October 2018

    Watching Bohemian Rhapsody is a bit like seeing Queen perform with Adam Lambert: yeah, the songs are all good, but at the back of your mind you know you're not getting the real deal. Bryan Singer/Dexter Fletcher's biopic is the sanitised retelling of Queen that leaves out all the good stuff in order to be family friendly. Where are the dwarves with trays of cocaine on their heads? The nights out with Kenny Everett and Princess Di in drag? Naked renditions of We Are The Champions? Can anybody find me something to love?

  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 3 recap: "Your Donuts Make Me Go Nuts"

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 20th October 2018

    This week, a tricky technical leaves one contestant in tears when our amateur bakers are asked to create 2000 show-stopping doughnuts, despite the fact that their backgrounds range from digital marketing to tree surgery and absolutely nothing to do with running a pop-up bakery. As the heat rises, who will be Star Baker, who will leave the tent, and who’s got a soggy bottom? It’s The Great British Bake O-h hang on.

  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 1 recap: "Can You Do It Squid Pro Quo?"

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 4th October 2018

    Theresa May was right - the British people need to know an end is in sight. 14 years of this and not even Alan's Twitter can bring down the behemoth that is The Apprentice. I'd take Lord Sugar's Racist World Cup over the next 12 weeks of more corporate cum dumpsters trying to flog pork sandwiches to a vegan cafe before being sent home in a black cab (Note: this is a lie).

  • The solid gold twats of The Apprentice 2018, in their own words

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 26th September 2018

    It's not business, it's war - or, more specifically, it's a bunch of bum-licking bellends in suits making bad analogies. Lord Alan Sugar is back to bark at more briefcase wankers, and I'm back to pass judgement because I've got nothing else better to do. Let's meet the contestants of the 2018 series of The Apprentice and hear from them in their own words!

  • The Meg

    Movie Review | Becky Suter | 11th August 2018

    To borrow a phrase from Love Island, on paper The Meg has it all: Jason Statham is on the hunt for the biggest shark ever known, tracks it down and then probably punches it in the face or something. But as we all know, what's good on paper doesn't necessarily translate to real life (see: Dr Alex). Lacking any sense of plot, direction or tasty big shark action scenes, The Meg is lost at sea and sinks faster that a decomposing cetacean carcass. We're going to need a bigger boat.

  • What would happen to Beyoncé if she were in The Handmaid’s Tale?

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 2nd August 2018

    It's not a comedy, but the secret to The Handmaid's Tale is its timing: it's 2018, 100 years since the Suffragettes fought for the right to vote, and yet there's a pussy-grabbing prick of a president and we're still discussing women's basic reproductive rights. Part of The Handmaid's Tale's uncomfortable appeal is that it feels too close to own our reality. Which is why one night, as I watched Offred/June having a thoroughly miserable time of it, I wondered: what would become of me if Gilead actually happened? What about YouTubers or other celebs? Or – gasp - Queen of the Beyhive, Beyoncé? What about Bey? (For me personally - single, probably barren – most likely a Martha).

  • The Apprentice: season 13, episode 11 recap: "Dos and Don'ts"

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 11th January 2018

    Having recently joined the ranks of the "funemployed" (have laptop, will travel: hmu), I've been manically combing the internet for interview tips to help me land that dream position as CEO of the UK's premiere puppy-petting zoo. As such, I think I could give these candidates a few tips on interview techniques, although it's redundant anyway because apparently, anyone can win these days.

  • The Apprentice: season 13, episode 9 recap: "The Bushra Tucker Trial"

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 5th December 2017

    The internet called and said I was PROBABLY going to be named "Apprentice-recapper (person) of the year", but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photoshoot. I said probably is good enough for me, when are you free? I can do any time next week. But they never called back. Didn't want it anyway.