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If I could have had a small, green, wise mentor teach me the ways of online film criticism, he probably would have instilled in me a respect for the balance between objectivity and subjectivity. He would have told me that uninformed criticism is what binds the entire internet and that I should always try to be mindful of hype. But, halfway through my training, I would have still no doubt run off unprepared to face what is easily my greatest weakness: Star Wars.
There’s a lot that could be said about Taika Waititi being hired at this stage of the MCU. Is it a risk to give a giant special effects blockbuster property like Thor to a director known for off-kilter, low-budget comedies? Is it merely a cynical move in an attempt to mimic the quirkiness of the hugely successful Guardians Of The Galaxy
films? Can a unique creative tone even shine through within the confines of the strict Marvel model? And does Waititi’s brand of humour even translate to the big-budget world of EXCEPT IT TOTALLY FUCKING DOES AND YOU CAN FORGET ALL THESE THINGS BECAUSE THIS FILM IS SO MUCH FUN.
You would think that a film about shrinking people down to miniature size would primarily be about doll houses and hilariously oversized pencils – and there is a lot of that here – but mostly Alexander Payne’s new 'short' film is concerned with socio-political issues and climate change. It’s a film that says you should be doing more for your fellow man and for the environment. Basically, it has the power to make you feel very small indeed.
That annoying pop-up you received this morning on your phone was the new notification of our latest sporadic podcast episode, begging you for attention like an artificial life form desperate to have its own existence validated.
Forget everything I ever said about Personal Shopper
, A Ghost Story is the depiction of harrowing torment in an eternal abyss of obscurity that you always wanted. Assuming that you always wanted it.
After years of us all running hot and cold on Ryan Reynolds ("Van Wilder yay! Green Lantern
boo! The Proposal
yay! Shut up. Er… Green Lantern boo!"), it’s great that the success of Deadpool
has now finally shown us once and for all that he is an unquestionably talented comic genius. Now that this has been established, we can look forward to many, many films of Reynolds’ "What the fuck?!"-ing and "I know, right?"-ing in every cinema for several decades to come, safe in the knowledge that this is definitely what makes for a good, quality movie.
He wants the filth off the streets! He's planning to clean up the city! Etc!
Anyone who has read this site's review of Jupiter Ascending
or pretty much any of the Transformer films
will know that we tend to be more lenient than most when it comes to over-ambitious sci-fi epics. We forgive atrocious dialogue and overlong running times in order to reward dumb fun alien shit. So, frankly, Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets is lucky to have us, because this is a movie in which legendary filmmaker Luc Besson doesn't bother looking at the script twice nor his watch once while he continuously plays with an endless line-up of CGI distractions. This is him procrastinating with his own imagination in the same way that you or I would dick about on Twitter rather than get on with any real work. This is Luc Besson's Faff Element.
Our latest podcast episode is now live! But then you already knew that, because it has automatically appeared in your feed thanks to you subscribing the first time. ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
Apparently, in the week of the release of one of the biggest films of the year and an early Oscar frontrunner, IMDB thinks that if you type 'Dunk' into its search bar, you are still more likely to be looking for 'Slam Dunk', a Japanese cartoon about an awesome basketball player.
Side note: Janet Jackson? What are you doing here?