5 unfortunate downsides to being a spider-man

We've all been there: idly minding our own business, when all of a sudden some mad 8-legged bastard delivers a radioactive bite, giving us superpowers beyond our wildest dreams. That might sound like a pretty sweet payoff for the embarrassment of having to wear a plaster like a big girl, but you wouldn't believe some of the hassle Peter Parker has to put up with on a daily basis.
There's the urge to eat flies



It stands to reason that if you're able to do whatever a spider can, you'll also eat whatever a spider eats. It has to, or else this feature will just look like some pointless photoshop jobs.
Living under a brick seems like a good idea



Every Summer I venture outside with the intention of removing the wonky pile of slabs that consititutes a patio, only to be driven back by the spider metropolis underneath. No wonder Mary-Jane insists on being present at all house viewings.
Super Massive Phantom Limb Syndrome



Peter Parker must look like a right idiot trying to put on a coat. You missed the sleeve, Pete!
Spider-sex



Spare a thought for the spider-person bitten by a member of the genus Tidarren. Not only do they have to remove half of their spider-wang just to get around (their palps account for 20% of their body mass), the rest comes off during sex as well, functioning independently inside the female spider for up to 4 hours. I'll let you dwell on that.
The most embarrassing superhero defeat ever



The only thing more embarrassing than being trapped under a giant pint glass, would be if Spider-man foiled you on the way to steal one in the first place. But really where would you get a piece of paper big enough to slide under that anyway?