This took ages

All 154 characters from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, ranked

Ali Gray

25th April 2018



Hela

As played by: Cate Blanchett
First seen in: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)


Occupying the middle ground of Thor villains between franchise MVP Loki and that sullen elf chap nobody can remember, Cate Blanchett’s Hela is a formidable foe with some savage moves and a fiercer look (seriously, I don’t know any other 48-year-old actresses this willing and able to slide into a PVC catsuit). There’s lots to love about Hela - her hidden lineage, her goth vibes, the way she delivers the line "I'm going to stop you there" when presented with Skurge's life story - but I always sensed she had her edges smoothed off. That regional English accent from the trailers that made her sound like a right evil old crone: vanished and redubbed, for shame.


Armin Zola

As played by: Toby Jones
First seen in: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)


In The First Avenger, Zola was the kind of ten-a-penny snivelling weasel that usually gets snuffed out by the hero as an afterthought. Zola survives the first Cap movie but only really comes into his own in The Winter Soldier, when he returns in the form of a busted old Nazi computer program. Otherwise mired in political thriller territory, Zola was The Winter Soldier’s only real concession to true comic-book camp and the kind of pulpy ‘Tales to Astonish’, Boy’s Own adventure-type stuff that Cap was borne from.


Agent Phil Coulson

As played by: Clark Gregg
First seen in: Iron Man (2008)


Agent Phil Coulson is dead: believe that fact firmly and you can bump him up a whole bunch of places. And yet, the ridiculousness of network TV dictated he was to survive, somehow, and topline an average TV show for ever more, effectively banishing him from the MCU where nowhere dare mention his name UNDER PENALTY OF TORTURE. Such contractual wrangling does spoil our fonder Phase 1 memories of Phil ("His first name is Agent"), and he remains one of the best non-hero characters Marvel had to play with. R.I.P. Coulson, wish you were dead.


Gary the Cameraman

As played by: Adam Pally
First seen in: Iron Man 3 (2013)


Iron Man 3 is packed to the gills with single-serving characters who exist only for the purposes of comedy, and Gary the Cameraman scores the most laughs in his few minutes of screen-time. It makes sense that in a universe where the Avengers are public and extremely popular, they'd have fanboys: only Shane Black has so far dared to dream the hell of an Avenger being locked in a room with one of the little people. The haircut and moustache homage is touching, but the shit Stark tattoo seals it: if Iron Man 3 never left the back of Gary's van I honestly wouldn't even be mad.


Sam Wilson aka Falcon

As played by: Anthony Mackie
First seen in: Captain America: The Winter Soldier


A perfectly robust superhero with a military background and a fine line in a Will Smith-esque one-liners, Falcon is still almost certainly the last Avenger to be picked on the playground. He’s a guy who can fly, but they have Vision. He has guns, but Iron Man has lasers. His undying loyalty to Cap is touching, but they have Bucky. He has goggles. They can’t take away his goggles. Or his weird robot bird thing. Still, he’s one forgotten PE kit away from being a sarcastic onlooker.


Betty Ross

As played by: Liv Tyler
First seen in: The Incredible Hulk (2008)


Probably your best bit of your pre-Ruffalo Hulk there: Liv Tyler’s Betty is Bruce’s anchor that keeps him from completely disappearing into the big green guy. It’s just a shame that studio wrangling now means the MCU’s Banner will never really find his true love (no one is buying the whole Black Widow thing, guys, seriously, let it die).


Ned

As played by: Jacob Batalon
First seen in: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)


Ned is one of us. A normal person, but a normal person who suddenly finds himself at the centre of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, enjoying the best friend benefits of the youngest, hippest Avenger. When was the last time a best friend character got so much service? I can think of at least six or seven GREAT Ned gags. He's never the punchbag. He has his own little arc. And Jacob Batalon is a natural. "Congratulations on the spreadsheets Peter, have a gold coin! I don't really know how jobs work." Brilliant. Ned is the best.


Wanda Maximoff aka Scarlet Witch

As played by: Elizabeth Olsen
First seen in: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)


Scarlet Witch is an intriguing Avenger who is rarely put to good use, because her powers are indiscriminate and confusing. She can fart guffs of red mist that can put anyone under a spell of mind-control, but the movies can't ever let her get too close to the villains because she'd make victory too easy - a bit like how the guys who slow down time always have to get dead legs or concrete shoes. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, Scarlet Witch. Nice jacket, shame she's being shoehorned into a lovey-dove character arc with alien fruit rollup man Vision, because I could give a fart of red mist how that works out.


Dr. Eric Selvig

As played by: Stellan Skarsgård
First seen in: Thor (2011)


Played by Stellan Skarsgård, Sweden’s premier large adult Swede, Selvig bowls around the Thor trilogy like he’s always half a stein away from another de-pantsed drunken meltdown - but that’s just how we like our science delivered. He loses points for his poor showing in Avengers: Age Of Ultron, where his entire role can be surmised as 'Man who gives Thor a lift to a mysterious rock pool'.


Aldrich Killian

As played by: Guy Pearce
First seen in: Iron Man 3 (2013)


Nominative determinism led him down a career path of villainy, but Aldrich Killian is well suited to the bad guy game; he’s well groomed, rich, ambitious and reckless, which just about makes him a sleazy mirror version of Tony Stark. I don't think I’ve ever been more delighted at a twist than I was at the Mandarin switcheroo, that is until Guy Pearce randomly breaths a jet of fire at Don Cheadle. More Marvel villains should breath fire, in my considered opinion.


Hope Van Dyne

As played by: Evangeline Lilly
First seen in: Ant-Man (2015)


Hope Van Dyne's role in Ant-Man was perfectly summed up in a scathing tweet that read something like this: "If she can train Ant-Man, why can't she *be* Ant-Man?" It's hard to shake that thought watching Ant-Man back, as the role of Hope is so clearly sidelined to make way for MEN FIGHTS, but I have never seen Evangeline Lilly be anything less than brilliant in something I didn't love. Her mid-credits promotion to main player was too little too late, but if it isn't about damn time indeed.


Darcy Lewis

As played by: Kat Dennings
First seen in: Thor (2011)


It's tough to write the sarcastic best friend role in a movie as continually ridiculous as Thor, because if you're not careful you end up with the sniffy punk millennial at Lollapalooza, who doesn't even know what they hate any more. Thankfully Darcy is a constant ray of sunshine in the Thorniverse, constantly called upon to puncture the bubbles of Shakespearean pomposity without ever lapsing into 'bored teen at a party' mode. Someone remind me why Kat Dennings isn't a massive movie star that's in huge demand?


M'Baku

As played by: Winston Duke
First seen in: Black Panther (2018)


The Jabari jabroni damn near stole the Black Panther show, a movie that has alpha males strutting around it like the damn Serengeti. It's not just M'Baku's mettle that I responded to - who wouldn't respect a man willing to have a free pop at the champ? - but his humour, too. Love him stifling a giggle while putting the fear of Gorilla God into his guests re: potential cannibalism, before claiming himself vegetarian. Don't forget the fact HE BASICALLY SAVES THE DAY. Would the movie have been more financially successful if it was called M'Baku Panther? I'm no expert but I'm going to say yes, absolutely it would have.


Vision

As played by: Paul Bettany
First seen in: Avengers: Age Of Ultron (2015)


Yes, he's an all-powerful being of great intelligence that is considered worthy enough to lift Thor’s hammer, but would Vision be fun at parties? I’m not convinced Viz - a nickname he almost certainly wouldn’t approve of - would be much fun to have around. You’ve got to respect a beet-faced dude in a green cape with an Infinity Bindi when it comes to number of fucks given, but I’m going all out and saying that he’s actively avoided at shindigs chez Stark due to poetic intensity and utter weirdness.


Helmut Zemo

As played by: Daniel Bruhl
First seen in: Captain America: Civil War (2016)


No capes or monocles or poorly-planned dreams of world domination for this guy; revenge is the only thing on the agenda, and it’s served ice cold. More of a master manipulator than the master of disguise he is in the comics, Zemo zeroes in on weaknesses the Avengers didn’t even know they had and his actions split the MCU wide open - he is almost single-handedly responsible for Civil War. Arguably, he's the only Marvel villain who wins.


Dr. Stephen Strange

As played by: Benedict Cumberbatch
First seen in: Doctor Strange (2016)


We're getting into the big guns now, the guys with movies named after them. Stephen Strange is the only hero in the MCU to have one movie in his honour (to date) and you'd have to say that's because *whispers* he's really not that interesting. I like Benedict Cumberbatch a lot, but he's cursed with a character that is far, far too similar to Tony Stark - a rich, sarcastic, bearded genius who must first learn humility to control his gifts. And really, the grand promise of opening up the MCU to "the world of magic" has delivered very little other than portals, weapons made of clouds (that still behave like normal weapons) and lots and lots of pretentious hand-waving. He should be called Doctor Silly.


Colonel James Rhodes aka War Machine

As played by: Terrence Howard, Don Cheadle
First seen in: Iron Man (2008)


Banish the memories of Terrence Howard to the dustbin along with most of The Incredible Hulk: Rhodey was really only born when Don Cheadle stepped into the fray. Interestingly, the character is better served when suited-down: War Machine functions as little more than a clunkier Iron Man clone, but Rhodey is a great counterbalance to Tony Stark - Iron Man 3 had ten glorious minutes with no suits, just RDJ and Cheadle doing a modern-day Lethal Weapon via Shane Black, and it was literally the most fun the MCU has ever been.


Johann Schmidt aka The Red Skull

As played by: Hugo Weaving
First seen in: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)


By far the most literal villain in the Marvel universe, the Red Skull is also one of the most enjoyable bad guys on the books. When you need your Nazi to take it up a notch, you call Hugo Weaving, a man for whom subtlety is an alien concept: the resulting character is a triumph of costume and makeup and a riot of camp and kitsch. A by-product of having a redder face than Alan Brazil is that nobody can really concentrate on what you're saying or doing, and as such the Red Skull's motives get kind of fuzzy in retrospect - something about alien tech and laser guns - but that's part and parcel of being a cartoon villain: no wonder he had to kill to many incompetent henchmen.


Korg

As played by: Taika Waititi
First seen in: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)


The silliest character in Thor: Ragnarok, much less the MCU to date, it's a minor miracle that Marvel let Taika Waititi keep Korg in the movie and a blessing that he remained. I think every single line of Korg's is a gag or punchline, the Kiwi accent making even normal dialogue sound ridiculous, but I cannot imagine Thor: Ragnarok without him. The chances of him ever reappearing in any other Marvel movie are slim to none - because although Thor characters can whizz across the universe, Waititi's humour really does not travel - but we should just be grateful we ever got to know Korg at all.


T'Challa aka Black Panther

As played by: Chadwick Boseman
First seen in: Captain America: Civil War (2016)


If you've seen him on SNL's 'Black Jeopardy' sketch, you know that T'Challa is already getting a reputation of being a bit of a square (you're always going to look a bit boring compared to someone with the surname 'Killmonger') but that same earnestness and sense of honour made Black Panther a beloved billion-dollar blockbuster, so bow down to your king. T'Challa is a conduit through which the MCU can finally explore black culture, but he's also a character worthy of a fully-fledged Avengers membership card - the physicality and cat-like agility of Black Panther's fight scenes is often overshadowed by the movie's cultural importance. Try making an Avengers movie without T'Challa now for a measure on how essential the character has become in such a short space of time.


Valkyrie

As played by: Tessa Thompson
First seen in: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)


Pairing Thor with a woman who is his equal is one of the many masterstrokes of Thor: Ragnarok: I can't get enough of how flustered the God of Thunder gets trying to explain how cool he is with feminism ("It's about time" and the thumbs up: perfect). All that lays at the feet of Tessa Thompson's endlessly watchable heroine Valkyrie, staking a claim as one of the most capable women in the MCU even when she's pissed off her nut. Equally comfortable with action as well as humour, Thompson's Valkyrie makes for a delightful foil to the self-important Asgardian of the galaxy, but crucially she doesn't exist solely to service his story - one sumptuous slow-motion flashback is all that's needed to establish her as a character for whom further exploration is essential.


Ulysses Klaue

As played by: Andy Serkis
First seen in: Avengers: Age Of Ultron (2015)


A stream of hot itchy piss carving arcs through Black Panther’s cool and icy lake, Klaue is villainy distilled for the sake of villainy: Erik Killmonger gets the drama and the backstory, Ulysses Klaue gets to have fun. The closest thing the MCU has to an animated character - I could easily see him playing a baddie in a Roger Rabbit sequel - Klaue's premature death deprived the world of a true lunatic and an utterly fucking bonkers mixtape.


Drax the Destroyer

As played by: Dave Bautista
First seen in: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)


The nicest surprise of Guardians of the Galaxy was watching forner wrestler Dave Bautista blossom into a full-blown superstar. Drax is a peach of a role: basically a battering ram with a backstory, he's a blunt instrument who can only play one note but thankfully it's an endless symphony of stupid. Self-awareness is not his strong suit, but credit to Bautista: of the many men and women in the MCU who call themselves super, Drax is the only one who looks like he could legitimately break you in half if he wanted to.


Adrian Toomes aka The Vulture

As played by: Michael Keaton
First seen in: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)


The casting of Michael Keaton as the Vulture wasn't exactly a stretch, given the success of Birdman a few years previously, but think of it as a hero-to-villain switcheroo from his Batman days and it makes perfect sense: that wide smile and intense brow can quite easily be tweaked into mania. Villains rarely feel as fully-formed as the Vulture: he's given a relatable background (he's working-class!), a decent motive (he was screwed over!) and a decent modern-day tech makeover (even his costume makes sense!). It's Keaton who really makes him fly though: the unbearably tense scene he shares with Peter Parker in the car, bathed in the green glow of a traffic light, provides Spider-Man: Homecoming's single most perfect shot.


Pepper Potts

As played by: Gwyneth Paltrow
First seen in: Iron Man (2008)


I think it's fair to say that Iron Man and the Marvel Cinematic Universe as a whole wouldn't have worked quite so well without a good woman at its core: Pepper Potts is one of the only non-Avenger characters who feels truly integral to the DNA of the MCU. I'm no fan of Gwyneth Paltrow in general but she works wonders with weak material here, sparking screwball chemistry with Robert Downey Jr and never once feeling like a damsel in distress, even when that's how the movies position her. Her iconic image: shirt off, bra on and skin glistening against the crackling fire of Iron Man 3's finale, having just risen phoenix-like from the ashes to smash the shit out of the movie's villain - Tony barely has time to park his grief he's so gobsmacked.


Sgt. Nick Fury

As played by: Samuel L Jackson
First seen in: Iron Man (2008)


His first appearance opened up the entire Marvel universe with a few short sentences and since then he's been ever-present in the MCU, like Nigel Farage on Question Time. There's no denying that Sam Jackson + Eyepatch + Trenchcoat is about as close as we'll ever get to cracking the formula of cool, but now the Avengers have actually assembled, what does Fury even do? Answer: he's a glorified recruitment agent - human LinkedIn, adding superheroes to his own professional network.


Peter Quill aka Star-Lord

As played by: Chris Pratt
First seen in: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)


Surely the universe is big enough for more than one self-centred, smug, tache-wearing tough guy with daddy issues: if Star-Lord is just Iron Man But In Space then we're absolutely okay with that. Chris Pratt was another Marvel casting bullseye, bringing goofy humour to a franchise which counts that quality as a cornerstone. From the moment he started jiving to Redbone's 'Come and Get Your Love', Peter Quill set the tone for Guardians of the Galaxy and beyond. I mean, he's no Andy Dwyer, but he'll do.


Luis

As played by: Michael Peña
First seen in: Ant-Man (2015)


If the next Ant-Man movie doesn't begin with Luis recapping the events of the MCU to date in his own inimitable style ("I was at a wine-tasting with my cousin Ernesto...") then it'll go down as a massive opportunity wasted, because Michael Peña is as gifted a comic actor as any other A-lister round these parts. No one is more excited to be here, there, or anywhere, than Luis: his infectious enthusiasm is part of the reason Ant-Man has such an easy charm. With his rapid-fire storytelling techniques, he's also the clearest Edgar Wright conduit in the entire movie. Luis, to us, you are an Avenger, bro.


James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes

As played by: Sebastian Stan
First seen in: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)


Few characters have been through quite so much of an ordeal as Bucky Barnes, and that's before you factor in the reams of man-love memes resulting from his bromance with Cap. Forgettable enough in The First Avenger, Bucky's return in The Winter Soldier set the wheels in motion for the entire next phase of the MCU, his Russian collusion resulting in a proper character arc and a makeover to die for (his hair seems to get glossier with every passing movie). When Sebastian Stan finally picks up that iconic shield, which we all know he will, there are going to be chills felt from here to Siberia.


Clint Barton aka Hawkeye

As played by: Jeremy Renner
First seen in: Thor (2011)


Hawkeye is a supernaturally gifted marksman who dazzles with his accuracy but presumably spends all his time offscreen picking up all his arrows. Jeremy Renner is always an assured presence, but Hawkeye still kind of feels like the Avengers equivalent of that prankster who snuck onto the pitch with Manchester Utd for the team photo - if he didn't show up for war, you'd hardly say his absence would swing it. You’re only as useful as your quiver is bountiful, Clint, and I think the reason you’re always making smartass comments is because deep down you know it.


Shuri

As played by: Letitia Wright
First seen in: Black Panther (2018)


Occupying the opposite end of the tech spectrum to Bond’s Q actor Desmond Llewelyn, Shuri is neither white, old or male, but she is handy with the SCIENCE and has supernatural foresight about what gizmos will be needed and when. The moment she dragged Martin Freeman as "coloniser" was the moment the black youth of the Marvel moment found a new voice, and her outfits pop harder than any found on Xandar or beyond.


Ultron

As played by: James Spader
First seen in: Avengers: Age Of Ultron (2015)


Ultron is a delightfully absurd villain that provided most of the highs in the Avengers' most disappointing adventure to date. There is no Ultron without James Spader, a masterful piece of casting that flavours every line of delectable dialogue; just try and imagine an evil robot overlord voiced by anyone else sounding half as lascivious. Can robots masturbate? Because, with no evidence, I can say with certainty that James Spader's Ultron definitely found time in his plans for world domination to jack it. Despite his movie suffering some duff tech tropes ("He's *in* the internet!"), Ultron proves that the weirder and the more leftfield the MCU aims, the more interesting the results.


Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow

As played by: Scarlett Johansson
First seen in: Iron Man 2 (2010)


Can it be possible that one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe's most interesting and most ubiquitous characters also feels like its most under-served? We still don't really know much about Black Widow other than a few oblique references to "Budapest", but maybe filling in the blanks in Natasha Romanoff's ledger does her an injustice - she's done just fine as a cipher thus far. It's telling that she's built a following as strong as any superhuman Avenger off the back of a series of cameos and bit-parts, but her place in that iconic 360 degree Avengers lineup is absolutely deserved. And hey, not that it matters, but she has the strongest hair game in the entire MCU. Sorry Bucky.


Yondu

As played by: Michael Rooker
First seen in: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)


Michael Rooker is one of those actors who instantly raises the game of everyone he shares a scene with, and so it is in the Guardians movies, where his gravel-throated voice and Avatar-gone-wrong makeup give the films an added dimension: of danger, of humour, and particularly in Volume 2, of heart ("He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy"). His screen time amounts to, what, 20 minutes over two movies, but his imprint is all over them: the galaxy already feels emptier without him.


The Grandmaster

As played by: Jeff Goldblum
First seen in: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)


In a movie ripe with Dahlian nightmares, The Grandmaster is Thor Ragnarok’s Willy Wonka: wily, wonky and almost certainly insane. One of the all-time great Marvel casting coups, the character is basically Jeff Goldblum in lipstick, Brylcreem and a dressing gown, and every second he’s on screen is exactly as fantastic as that sounds.


Erik Stevens aka Killmonger

As played by: Michael B Jordan
First seen in: Black Panther (2018)


It's not often Marvel villains outshine the heroes who are contractually obliged to defeat them, but Black Panther looked like a mere pussy cat when up against Killmonger - a man whose ridiculous name actually does him justice. Even if you discount a thunderous performance from a never-better Michael B Jordan, Killmonger is about as iconic as they come: the hair, the scars, the memes... he's our King now. A badass to the last, his final line is one of the most eye-opening requiems you'll ever hear in a Disney movie.


Happy Hogan

As played by: Jon Favreau
First seen in: Iron Man (2008)


Jon Favreau is basically the guy who kickstarted the MCU from behind the camera, and he also adds a vital contribution in front of it as Happy, surely the most essential secondary - tertiary? - character in the whole universe. No simple butler or chaffeur, Happy is a confidante, a sounding board, even a bit of muscle ("Forehead of security" is a great gag). He also always has his own stories running through the Iron Man movies, like how in Iron Man 3 he expresses his love for Pepper Potts through his fondness for Downton Abbey. Happy is clearly the star of his own movies, we just don't know it yet.


Groot

As played by: Vin Diesel
First seen in: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)


The lovable lug that's also a lovable log, Groot is the wooden heart at the centre of the Guardians of the Galaxy - preaching love and hugs (when he's not beating the shit out of people), it's ironic that the arguably the least human member of the team keeps them firmly rooted in humanity. A deeply weird creation that somehow also makes total sense, Groot is the no-nonsense superhero we didn't know we needed: if only all the dialogue in the MCU could be as succinct as his. If you didn't cry at "We are Groot" then you are officially a disgusting lizard person with a coal black turd where your heart should be.


Peter Parker aka Spider-Man

As played by: Tom Holland
First seen in: Captain America: Civil War (2016)


When it was announced that Spider-Man was being given another movie makeover in time for a cameo in Civil War, the news was met with an equal amount of heavy sighs as it was whoops of excitement. What could the third Spidey in nine years possibly bring to the table? The answer: youth. Tom Holland's infectious vitality was a shot in the arm for the MCU, let alone the Spider-Man franchise. Spider-Man: Homecoming was pitched perfectly as a John Hughes-esque high school heist caper, but the groundwork was set by that rejuvenating Civil War cameo: funny, fresh and dynamic. When Robert Downey Jr finally retires the suit, it's this kid who'll provide the energy to keep the MCU moving forward.


Okoye

As played by: Danai Gurira
First seen in: Black Panther (2018)


There's a reason she's all over the Infinity War marketing: Black Panther's right hand woman Okoye is the movie's secret weapon - a spear-wielding, ass-kicking, wig-snatching warrior that's pure poetry in motion to watch. While T'Challa and Killmonger slug it out with brute force, Okoye is grace personified, fighting fiercely and fluidly, rarely letting her emotions show. There's more to the Dora Milaje than her pointy bits, too: her entire arc revolves around loyalty, to the throne and to her country. Put simply, Black Panther wouldn't have been half the movie it was without her.


Agent Peggy Carter

As played by: Hayley Atwell
First seen in: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)


A proper female character, with hopes, dreams and amazing hair, Peggy Carter was Marvel's first attempt at ingratiating themselves with that small market known as 'girls'. Hayley Atwell single-handedly kept Captain America's wartime era alive, long after the man blew her out for their date, and she continues to inform Cap's actions to this day, right down to that spine-tingling modern-day cameo in The Winter Soldier (old lady CGI not permitting). I know we're only doing movies not TV, but surely the biggest injustice in the Marvel universe so far is that Agent Carter never really got her wings: she's the best female character on Marvel's books, but given more time to grow, she could have been one of their best characters full stop.


Rocket Raccoon

As played by: Bradley Cooper
First seen in: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)


The Guardians franchise's biggest risk turned out to be its greatest asset - I was a fool to think that a gun-toting CGI raccoon would be anything less than amazing. Although I'm still not sold on the voice casting - once you get the idea of Danny De Vito in your head, Bradley Cooper seems far too sanitised - I've come to love Rocket dearly, not just for his attitude and his playfulness, but for his more sombre moments too (maybe De Vito couldn't have sold them quite as well). Rocket distilled down to a single scene: him needlessly being a jerk to Peter Quill and demanding a fake leg for no reason, in the middle of a jailbreak situation. Jerkiness is underrated in the Marvel universe: Rocket is the undisputed champ.


Trevor Slattery aka The Mandarin

As played by: Sir Ben Kingsley
First seen in: Iron Man 3 (2013)


I understand there are people out there who didn't enjoy Iron Man 3, who thought that The Mandarin reveal was stupid. These people need to be fired from a cannon into the Sun, lest their chronic idiocy be allowed to survive. The moment we really meet The Mandarin is the moment that Iron Man 3 was crowned Best In Show - I can't remember a braver, more unexpected twist in a studio movie since. Key to it all, of course, is Trevor Slattery aka Sir Ben Kingsley, who gives us the MCU's greatest rug-pull by under-cutting his menace with a toilet gag and only getting more pathetic from there. God bless Trevor Slattery, the toast of Croydon, may his mere existence continue to frustrate the intellectually inept.


Loki

As played by: Tom Hiddleston
First seen in: Thor (2011)


And the winner of the award for Best Helmet goes to... The greatest villain in the decade-long history of the MCU, by virtue of the fact he's not really a villain at all, just your run-of-the-mill bastard son of a Frost Giant. Tom Hiddleston gives Loki real depth in the first Thor movies, playing him as a petulant child lashing out at the world for the perceived injustice of his lineage, but it's the mischief that makes him - a playful nature that he's carried with him through Avengers movies and alien invasions to brotherly bantering in Thor: Ragnarok. He's almost certainly toast in Avengers: Infinity War, but it's been a pleasure to have been jerked around by him - and we can't imagine he'll go out without at least one more trick up his sleeve.


Thor

As played by: Chris Hemsworth
First seen in: Thor (2011)


Without the blessing that is Thor: Ragnarok, the God of Thunder would be languishing in mid-table - the Everton of the MCU's Premier League. Stuffy and self-important, the Thor of his first two movies is, well, a bit of a twat: all swishing cape and swirly hammer and bleached-blonde eyebrows. Thank Asgard, then, for last year's Thor threequel, which finally had the good grace to mock Thor mercilessly, picking up where Joss Whedon's first Avengers movie left off, tapping into Chris Hemsworth's quite infuriating comic potential. He may not be the Strongest Avenger, but Thor is probably the best all-rounder of the bunch: powerful, with well-defined skills, he's also hilarious, but there's pathos there too, courtesy of a spaceship full of Asgardian immigrants and his relationship with Loki. Try and imagine an Avengers movie without him. Okay, fine, Civil War. Try and imagine another one. See? That one is probably rubbish.


Bruce Banner aka Hulk

As played by: Edward Norton, Mark Ruffalo, Lou Ferrigno
First seen in: The Incredible Hulk (2008)


Here's the most important thing Marvel have learned over ten years and 18 movies: sometimes you can only really do a character justice when you make them a supporting character in someone else's movie. You're not alone if you have fuzzy memories of Edward Norton and The Incredible Hulk, because it felt like a movie out of step with the rest of the MCU. Hulk was only deemed a SMASH when he regenerated for Avengers Assemble as a bit-part player - a scene-stealer rather than a camera hogger. He's improved with every movie since: we can honestly say that spending time with Mark Ruffalo's little guy is almost as much fun as playing with the big guy. Almost. Let's not go crazy.


Scott Lang aka Ant-Man

As played by: Paul Rudd
First seen in: Ant-Man (2015)


Ant-Man was the only Marvel movie to start off on the back foot, thanks to the departure of fan-favourite Edgar Wright - ask anyone on the internet (note: never do this) and they'll tell you the movie was doomed from day one. However, it was Edgar Wright's decision to cast Paul Rudd, a choice which meant whoever stepped into the vacant director's chair had an easy job - let Paul Rudd be funny. Ant-Man was a movie unconcerned with Thanoses or Infinity whatsits, it was in its own little self-contained corner of the MCU, and Scott Lang is the key: self-deprecating to the last, he's the perfect anti-hero (no pun intended) and the closest thing the MCU has to an audience surrogate. Oh, and getting the standout scene in Civil War? No small feat.


Tony Stark aka Iron Man

As played by: Robert Downey Jr
First seen in: Iron Man (2008)


Tom Cruise is Iron Man! We came incredibly close to a 5'7" Tony Stark. Mercifully, Jon Favreau managed to pull off one of the all-time greatest, riskiest and financially successfully casting coups of all time - so integral is Robert Downey Jr to the continuing success of the MCU, you absolutely cannot entertain anyone else in the role. Ever. Go back to Iron Man, where it all began in 2008, and marvel at just how similar the tone is there to how it is now. That's no accident: Tony Stark set the template for every single Marvel movie since - confident, irreverent, exciting. The simple fact is, Tony Stark is the funniest Marvel character by far and all the Marvel movies he is parachuted into - even ones by other studios! - are markedly better for his inclusion.


Steve Rogers aka Captain America

As played by: Chris Evans
First seen in: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)


The best Avenger. The best Chris. The best beard (but that’s enough about Bucky). Yes, Steve Rogers is more than worthy of salute: Chris Evans has not only managed to shake off his previous superhero baggage to find his groove, he’s managed to make a man known as ‘Captain America’ beloved around the world at a time where the global image of the United States is at an all-time low. The connections that Cap forges in the MCU are as strong as steel: his love for Peggy Carter echoed through the ages, his friendship with Bucky has survived death (and worse), his tempestuous relationship with Tony Stark almost caused an MCU meltdown. Really though, we love Cap because he took the goofiest, goody two-shoes-ass dingus in the entire Marvel catalogue and somehow made him cool. Steve Rogers for President.

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