Raising the Bard

An ode to Secret Cinema presents William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet

Matt Looker

13th August 2018

It's probably no coincidence that my love affair with Secret Cinema peaks with their latest summer production, which presents a fully immersive experience with the world of Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet. Despite that, here is my fully objective and dispassionate critique of the opening night... presented in the form of a few adoring sonnets.

Mercutio, with invites for both houses. Bring your own plague.


Two loves I have of movies and a show,
Plus persons all in dress for fun ol’ time,
Combine for Juliet and Romeo.
(Cos ‘Romeo’ is easier to rhyme)
For great immersive film pretence and scale,
And audience participation, natch,
Then Secret Cinema nights never fail:
Delivery and expectations match.
Extraordinary creativity,
Ambitious sets and interactive cast,
Encourage fans and much… proclivity?
Oh God, I already regret this task.
Too late, this format works, I’m adamant.
My near-rhymes honour event management.

No spoilers here, but thou shouldst sure not fret;
Design and detail doth be really goodst
(I’m using olde words now for effect,
I’ll keep it up whilst talking ‘bout the foodst).
Thy huge expansive set-up boasteth stalls
That cover almost all cuisines – ‘cept pies;
Mine giant chicken burger wast the balls,
Despite the fact they hadst run out of fries.
Themed drinks and beer and wine doth freely flow,
Best yet, the cocktails are incredible;
When put with fun and film and thine best beau,
The whole event is almost beddable.
And that’s without the actors roaming through,
Performed in character all just for th- you.

The film itself, of course: a sheer delight,
And Secret Cinema does Luhrmann proud:
Magnificent in presentation, quite,
With synchronised effects to leave you wowed.
The cult aesthetic bleeds down off the screens,
Among the audience so primed and high,
Made up of fans of film or parties, teens,
And dates mansplaining “wherefore”’s really “why”.
DiCaprio in full-on heartthrob mode,
Iconic mise-en-scene with mise-en-scene,
Claire Danes the star-crossed equal in this ode,
You totes forget it’s creepy she’s thirteen.
The entire night lives up to the allure,
For both boff and iambic pent-amateur.

It's good, is what I'm saying. It's very good. You should all go. And you're in luck, because there are still tickets available.

Love this? Hate it? Just want someone to yell stuff at? Follow us on Twitter @The_Shiznit and let off some steam, Bennett.

Share This