Films on TV round-up: CLEVER PEOPLE GO NUTS: THE PROOF
21st August 2011
For no reason other than my own amusement, this week's films on TV round-up is written in the style of The Sun.
Commencing: Monday 22nd August 2011
Good Will Hunting (1997) Wednesday, BBC3, 9pm
Boston janitor Will Hunting is one of the world's brainiest people, it has been revealed.
He makes his living cleaning floors at top American brainbox academy MIT, but secretly he is a maths genius.
"It's certainly true that Will is a genius," says Professor Gerald Lambeau, who got Will out of jail so he could do sums instead.
"And I think he could change the face of mathematics forever."
But there is a dark side to Will Hunting, we can exclusively reveal.
He likes to drink with friends and can often be seen drinking and smoking heavily in Boston's seedy bars.
"We are concerned about Will," says an insider close to the Hunting family. "He is unhappy and appears to have self-esteem issues.
"He punched a policeman last week.
"While Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty was playing."
But top head doctor Sean Maguire might be able to save Will from his life of crime.
"I have spent some time with Will," says Maguire, whose wife recently died of cancer.
"I hugged him and told him it wasn't his fault. We had a breakthrough."
The two men are known to be very close and have been seen sharing intimate moments on benches and in Maguire's secluded basement office.
"Their sessions last for hours," a university source confirms.
A Beautiful Mind (2001) Thursday, BBC1, 11.35pm
Friends and family of Princeton Professor John Nash are becoming concerned for his welfare.
The increasingly bizarre behaviour of the top boffin has led his slender brunette wife Alicia to have him committed to a loony bin.
In recent weeks Nash has:
- ranted in the university library
- drawn equations on windows
- acted bonkers while lecturing students.
And that's only the beginning.
Nash claims to be working for the US Department of Defense on a top-secret mission against the Soviets.
But our investigators could find no evidence that Nash had even visited the Pentagon.
Nash has successfully used his loaf in the past to discover a new strand of governing dynamics in game theory, which maths eggheads can use to analyse football and darts.
But it seems the old grey matter is now failing him.
"John Nash has gone completely round the twist," said a source.
"I don't know much about maths," he went on.
"But I do know a nutter when I see one."
Have YOU seen weirdo John Nash acting loony around the Princeton campus? Email your stories and photos to email@example.com.
Also on this week
The Blues Brothers Monday, ITV4, 9.05pm (also Wednesday, 10.05pm)
Snakes on a Plane Monday, C4, 10pm
The Thing (1982) Monday, ITV1, 10.35pm (also Tuesday, ITV4, 10pm and Thursday, ITV4, 12.45am)
Bridget Jones's Diary Monday, ITV2, 10.45pm
Taken Tuesday, Film4, 9pm (also Saturday, 9pm)
Batman Returns Tuesday, ITV2, 10.45pm
Batman Forever Wednesday, ITV2, 10.45pm
Child's Play Thursday, ITV4, 10.50pm
Back to the Future Part III Friday, ITV2, 7.50pm
The Constant Gardener Friday, ITV3, 10pm
Mad Max 2 Friday, ITV4, 10.35pm
The Devil's Advocate Friday, ITV2, 10.50pm
Jaws 2 Friday, ITV1, 11.35pm
Thunderball Saturday, ITV1, 3.05pm
Rocky IV Saturday, ITV4, 9pm
Sex and the City Saturday, C4, 9.15pm
American: The Bill Hicks Story Saturday, BBC4, 10pm
The Bourne Supremacy Saturday, ITV1, 10.15pm
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason Saturday, ITV2, 11pm
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