Films on TV round-up: More4 got mo' films, mofos

Hey, it turns out More4 show films as well as ... wait, what else do they have on More4? It's all politics and serious stuff, isn't it? I've no time for that, personally. All that thinking HURT ED HEAD.

Commencing: Monday 16th January 2012

The Quick and the Dead (1995) Friday, More4, 9pm



You know how it makes me feel when they show a mainstream film on More4? Like they know something about it that I don't. Snooty bastards: if they put on Transformers 3 I'd probably convince myself it was some sort of arthouse classic no one else had heard of and start talking to people about the mise en scene while smoking a pipe and wearing a corduroy jacket.

Pretty much everything they show is serious, usually politically-themed, and worthy. The Quick and the Dead is none of these things, particularly: it was one of a slew of noveau Westerns that came out in the nineties after Clint Eastwood re-cowboy-booted the genre with Unforgiven (also on this week, as if it ever isn't). It features Sharon Stone as a revenge-driven gunslinger who shows up in a small town where Gene Hackman's local sheriff is running a quick-draw competition. A young Leonardo DiCaprio and a pre-anyone-giving-a-fuck-who-he-was Russell Crowe (he's not even mentioned in the trailer) also throw their hats in the ring.

As feather-light as it is, this is one of my favourite modern Westerns, mainly because of the obvious mid-nineties Tarantino influence on Sam Raimi's odd camera tilts, dolly zooms and quickfire editing. I also never tire of watching DiCaprio as a young actor - other than in Titanic, of which I tire after about eight seconds of the DVD menu - because you can't help but marvel at how self-assured he is. If you were at school with him, you'd have hated him, but probably loved him at the same time. You know, the kind of bipolar emotional attachment that usually ends with you crying and masturbating over the person's still-twitching corpse.

Catfish (2010) Saturday, More4, 10pm



Now this, y'see, this is more your standard More4 fodder. It's a documentary, it's socially prescient (ie it's about Facebook, about whose social effect you must have an opinion if you read the Guardian), and ... a third thing. Sorry, you have to write these things in threes for impact, but there isn't always a third. Look at me, calling attention to my work's own artifice. That's so postmodern it's practically premodern.

Having already ruined this film for at least one person by talking about it too enthusiastically, I'll tread more carefully this time. Suffice it to say, it's a documentary about a guy who meets a girl on Facebook and enters into a flirtatious online relationship with her. As his two friends film him, he discovers more about her and her young sister, who is a prodigious painter, but they soon grow suspicious and decide to pay the girl a visit.

What follows is shocking, to the point where many have questioned whether the documentary was faked. I suspect probably not, but either way it's compelling. And it led to these guys being given Paranormal Activity 3 to make, so all's well that ends well, eh?
Also on this week

Notting Hill Monday, ITV2, 9pm (also Saturday, 9pm)
Unforgiven Monday, ITV4, 9pm (also Wednesday, 10pm)
Midnight Run Monday, ITV4, 11.40pm (also Thursday, 10pm)
Role Models Monday, Film4, 9pm (also Saturday, 9pm)
The Bucket List Tuesday, ITV2, 10pm
American History X Tuesday, ITV4, 11.05pm (also Saturday, 11.50pm)
Sus Tuesday, BBC1, 11.15pm
talhotblond Wednesday, C4, 10pm
Logan's Run Thursday, Film4, 6.45pm
The Life of David Gale Thursday, ITV3, 11.05pm
The Exorcist Friday, ITV4, 12.30am
Daredevil Friday, Film4, 9pm
Jaws Friday, ITV1, 10.35pm
Sexy Beast Friday, Film4, 11pm
Empire of the Sun Friday, ITV3, 11.05pm
Sideways Saturday, C4, 12.30am
Licence to Kill Saturday, ITV4, 3.15pm
Jurassic Park III Saturday, ITV1, 3.45pm
Where Eagles Dare Saturday, ITV4, 5.55pm
Beverly Hills Cop Saturday, E4, 9pm
Enemy of the State Saturday, BBC3, 9.30pm
Doubt Saturday, BBC2, 10.30pm