Feature

Films on TV round-up: romance and rioting beasties

Kirsty Harrison

20th November 2011

Ed's still exhausted from all his charity work, and Matt's ... actually, where is Matt? Possibly playing Skyrim or COD or busy being chief executive of television or something. Myself, I didn't have enough time to do this article this weekend, on account of laziness so I drafted in my cousin Misty to write it for us. It's 75% of her English GCSE!

Commencing: Monday 21st November 2011

27 Dresses (2008) Wednesday, E4, 8pm



E4 have been doing movies on a Wednesday for ages now, showing really fun films and making the middle of the week, like, totally more interesting for everyone, which is just so great.

This week they're running the excellent 27 Dresses, which is an uber cute romcom starring Katherine Heigl who used to be in Grey's Anatomy (which just keeps getting better and better by the way - did you see the musical episode!? ZOMG! When they were singing that Leona Lewis song? Tear!), and the very hawt James Marsden (he was in X-Men where he had like lasers coming out of his eyes or something. I didn't really see X-Men, but it's on ITV2 literally all the time, and I catch bits of it when I'm waiting for IAC, TOWIE, GG or any of the other radd shows on ITV2!)

In the film, Katherine's character Jane is the subject of an article for newspaper wedding columnist Kevin (Marsden). Why? Because she's only been a bridesmaid 27 times!! I know, right!?

There's this cool montage in the film where she tries on all the dresses (although - who has enough room in their wardrobe for 27 bridesmaids dresses? And how does everyone America have such massive apartments?) and each dress is worse than the one before, if you can believe it. It's a lolzfest!

Of course, because it's a romantic comedy, Kevin totes falls in love with Jane, but she's in love with her douchenozzle of a boss who doesn't even know she exists and she completely friendzones poor Kevin.

Will it all turn out for the best? Who knows! I guess you'll just have to watch it to find out! Spoiler Alert: <3<3<3!

Read a full review of 27 Dresses on TheShiznit.co.uk.
Gremlins (1984) Tuesday, ITV1, 10.35pm



WTF is this film about? I've never seen it all the way through, and it's from like 12 years before I was born.

My Dad tries to get me to watch it with him at Christmas, and Kirsty (yello) flipped out when I told her I hadn't seen it. But TBF, Gremlins is a really dumb film, and here's why.

It starts with like a Furby kind of a walking guinea pig thing, and you think "oh, hey, that's a cute pet. It's got massive eyes and whistles and stuff", but you can't feed it or get it wet or anything (again, kind of like a Furby. FYI, I had one of those when I was a little kid, and they're freaky; they even talk when they've got not batteries), so it makes a rubbish pet.

Then if you DO accidentally get it wet it like gives birth to loads of other mogwai who are all mean and sneaky which is just not fun at all.

Once we had two hamsters, and they gave birth to loads of other hamsters which was great at first but then the mum hamster ATE HER BABIES. It was well grim and not fun at all, so I can kind of sympathise with the guy whose pets they are.

So now Billy (I googled it) has all these mean Furbys and he's not supposed to feed them after midnight. Why not? And how do they know it's midnight? What about daylight savings days? What if you took them on holiday to Australia? It's just stupid.

Anyway, they trick Billy into feeding them which causes them to turn inside out or something because suddenly they're not all furry and cute, they're all slimy and evil! They take over the kitchen and explode stuff and break everything.

It's usually about this time that I leave the room or turn it off, because they look gross and oh, did I mention, they killed a guy. I don't get why it's such a popular film, it's completely manky.

I haven't seen the end, but I suppose they either take over the world, or Billy stops them. It's probably the second one, but I don't know for sures. I guess watch it, or just go on Wikipedia to find out. Whatevs.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on this week's films. Check out my self portraits and poetry on my tumblr page!

http://marshmallowsandpain.tumblr.com

TTFN!
Also on this week

Failure to Launch Monday, Film4, 7.10pm
Identity Monday, C5, 11pm
Batman Begins Monday, ITV2, 11pm
The Game Monday, ITV4, 11.20pm
Nothing to Lose Monday, BBC1, 11.50pm
My Beautiful Laundrette Tuesday, Film4, 1am
Storyville: Deadline - The New York Times Tuesday, BBC4, 10pm
Jaws 3 Tuesday, ITV4, 10.50pm
The Bucket List Tuesday, ITV2, 11.15pm
Carry On Cabby Wednesday, More4, 10.35am
Tightrope Wednesday, ITV4, 9pm
Donnie Darko Wednesday, BBC1, 11.55pm
Crocodile Dundee Thursday, Film4, 7pm
Nowhere Boy Thursday, Film4, 9pm
Doctor No Thursday, ITV4, 9pm
The Contract Thursday, 5USA, 10pm
Max Payne Friday, Film4, 9pm
Purple Rain Friday, BBC4, 10pm
From Russia With Love Friday, ITV4, 10pm
Secretary Friday, Film4, 10.55pm
Innerspace Saturday, ITV2, 5.40pm
GI Joe: the Rise of Cobra Saturday, Channel 4, 9.15pm

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