Finding five nerd rage moments in the new Civil War trailer

Matt Looker

11th March 2016

Marvel have released a new trailer for Captain America: Civil War and it showcases thrilling action, real investment in emotional plot beats and an awesome first look at our brand new Spider-Man. The problem is, it has been met with overwhelming excitement and positivity. Don't they know that the Internet wasn't built to sustain such a thing?

So to readdress this imbalance in the YouTube comment force, I have gone through the new trailer shot for shot and pulled out five things about which you can get unreasonably angry.

Because if we all pick apart this great, fun new trailer by shouting about small, speculative details in lonely corners of the Internet, we can still show these faceless movie moguls that we know comics and films better than everyone else, including each other.
Tony Stark's iron glove

This is an undeniably cool moment in the trailer, but also a good place to start raising lots of furious questions about the unrealistic approach to this film. Saying things like "All of that comes out of his watch? It just wouldn't happen" is a good lead in to further questions about the rigidity of this armour material and how it can't possibly still have any kind of propulsion ray.

If anybody replies telling you to let it go because the realms of science reality don't matter when you're talking about a billionaire flying around in his robot suit, hit back with something like "I just don't see why the Mark XLVI suit needs to be reduced to one single fingerless glove". This shows off a superior knowledge that acts like a secret language only like-minded fans will understand.
No, not that guy

You only have a small window left to shoot down elements of this trailer before the film comes out and 'the context' proves you wrong, so make the most of this time.

From this trailer, it seems 100% confirmed beyond doubt that Rhodey definitely dies. So it is worth pointing out now the sickening injustice of Marvel choosing to kill off one of its only black characters. Your argument will be five times more important if you can also somehow link this to #OscarsSoWhite.
Cap's callback

It is worth pointing out that Captain America's "I can do this all day" line is a reference to a scene in his first film where a weedy Steve Rogers is beaten up down an alley. But everyone else would have got this too, so it's important to say it first.

Even more important is over-analysing this reference and drawing further comparisons that just aren't present. Saying things like "Wait, so that would make Tony Stark the mean jock bully in this scenario? I just don't get that. That's not MY Iron Man" is a good way to show that you have better skills in critiquing narrative constructs than literally everyone else in your comments thread.
Going the distance

While some clips have shown a conversation occurring here between the opposing teams, if you completely ignore the fact that trailers are likely to show sequences out of chronological order, you can openly laugh at the distance they have to cover in this charge.

"Haha - so they were shouting before? Or maybe they couldn't hear each other and that's why things have got out of hand?" is something that other commenters will definitely 'thumb up'.
Spidey's eyes

"How is he doing that with his eyes? Oh, so now Peter Parker has woven CGI into his costume? This is like those ridiculous organic web-shooters all over again, etc"

You don't need me for this one. I know you got this.
Now go forth and do your thing, and don't forget that caps-lock.

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