If the new Top Gear DVD cover told the truth

Another Christmas, another Top Gear DVD, another couple of million in Jeremy Clarkson's pocket. But come on, we know what they're really selling.

It's the perfect stocking-filler. If you're white, male and middle-aged, believe speed cameras to be an example of 'political correctness gone mad', despite the obvious lack of correlation between the two concepts, and are under the impression that Muslims have pressurised your local council into not putting up Christmas lights this year.

Own up, guys: this is really why you want it.