How convenient, too, that cinema's new "game changer" also requires audiences to pay extra for the privilege? After Avatar made 20th Century Fox a dirty great stack of green, thanks in part to higher ticket prices, Warner Bros smelt blood and ordered Clash Of The Titans and the new Harry Potter to be refitted in 3D - in Titans' case, after shooting had already wrapped.
There's no creative reasoning behind that decision, it's purely financial. Starting from this week, 3D tickets for IMAX in the US have been bumped up to $20. Each. Try and bring your own glasses and you'll still have to pay for new ones. Why? Err... we'll get back to you. And for what? Some half-hearted wand-waving and sword-swinging? Good thing Clash is getting some positive write-ups. Oh wait, no it isn't.
Roger Ebert has it right when he says any director worth his salt adding 3D to his movie "would be like a novelist choosing a distracting typeface." The last thing cinema needs right now is for Michael Bay's movies to be even more visually incomprehensible. 3D shouldn't be considered another toy to play with. You won't see people like Paul Thomas Anderson or the Coen brothers using 3D just because.
Chances are, you like me are part of a generation who saw many of their favourite films on a grubby old VHS, tracking lines and all. Yet the memories of those movies can still be recalled in crystal clear detail, correct? Quality shines through, whether you're watching in two, three or five dimensions. 3D is the future of cinema, you say? Balls. The game hasn't changed - it's just now we're the ones being played.
|+||The Drop (15)|
|+||The Imitation Game (12A)|
|+||Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?! (U)|
|+||Third Person (15)|