Feature

Ten Reasons Why Paul Newman Ruled


29th September 2008

HE COULD DRIVE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER
MODERN ACTORS AND cars don't mix: they're either too drunk off their arses to keep their Hummer on the road, or they're ferried around by chauffeur-driven Limos like big wet pussies. Newman was different: he genuinely loved the thrill of driving and claimed he felt most alive behind the wheel. He co-founded the Newman-Haas Indy team, came second - second - in the gruelling Le Mans tour and, at age 70, became the oldest ever driver to take part in a professional race, forcing drivers half his age to choke on his septuagenarian dust. Hey, Shia LaBeouf - you suck.


HE WAS CRAZY GENEROUS
FUCK OPRAH AND fuck Bill Gates: in relation to his own wealth, Paul Newman was the most generous American philanthropist of the 20th century. It's estimated that he's given over $250m of his own money to various organisations over the years, through the Newman's Own label as well as other sizeable charitable donations. He also started the Hole In The Wall Gang - a series of summer camps for sick kids - and dedicated his life to helping others. "You can only put away so much stuff in your closet," he once said. Yet as we speak, Eddie Murphy is probably eating a cheeseburger made of money.


HE MADE THE RIGHT ENEMIES
A DIEHARD DEMOCRAT and a righteous campaigner for justice - he publicly fought for gay and equal rights - Newman knew how to rub the Republicans up the wrong way: his name was found on the famous 'Enemies List' kept by President Richard Nixon during the Watergate affair. When Newman discovered a car he was renting during the 1968 election run-in was also being used by Nixon, he left a note in it saying: "This clutch is tricky, so you won't have any trouble with it." Actor 1, President 0. And we all know what happened to Tricky Dicky after he messed with Cool Hand...


HE WAS A SMART-ASS
DURING FILMING OF The Hustler in 1961, Newman was required to hone his ball skills to play pool shark 'Fast' Eddie Felson. After hitting the green baise for hours, Newman felt confident enough to challenge co-star and pool demon Jackie Gleason to a game, betting $50 on the outcome. Newman was trounced, but being a good sport, promptly paid Gleason his money: fifty dollars worth of pennies, which he dumped on the table. Anyone else would have come off as a jerk, but Newman carried off 'cocksure' like no other - it says volumes about the character of Fast Eddie, too.


HE (PROBABLY) SAVED THE WORLD
SO, NOT ONLY was Paul Newman an outstanding actor, a peerless philanthropist, a kick-ass race driver and in all probability a goddamn superhero after dark, he was a war hero too. Unable to join the Navy as a pilot due to his colour blindness, Newman served as a tail-gunner in the Second World War, shooting down enemy planes in the Pacific theatre. In a biological fluke that evened out the karma of his colour blindness, an ear infection held him back from a mission which resulted in his entire crew being killed. Screw off, God - Paul Newman still had work to do. Ali

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