The 10 dumbest things about Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Alzheimer's cure literally works overnight



I honestly thought I'd missed something when John Lithgow woke up cured of his dementia. But that's how quickly the drug takes effect, apparently - restoring neural networks and improving the capacity of a damaged brain in the space of an 8-hour nap. It's Wolverine meets The Fantastic Voyage. Think about it, though: could the plot have worked without this one almighty convenience?
5 Years Later...



A vet would presumably know a thing or two about animal behaviour and medicine, right? So how did Frieda Pinto go 5 years without spotting a link between Lithgow's recovery and the oddly intelligent chimp living in her boyfriend's attic? To top it off, when the truth finally comes out Franco comically pulls back a flimsy see-through screen, revealing a room covered wall-to-wall in research notes and blinking computer screens.
The Android Brian Cox



Does anyone know why Brian Cox was even in this film? It certainly wasn't to emote. After Caesar accidentally kills Cox's asshole son, Cox rolls up in his truck like it's a normal day at the office. He doesn't even seem that surprised when the police show him CCTV footage of the incident - which must have included the moment Caesar finally pipes up and tells Draco Malfoy to go fuck himself.
Shooting the bus



Caesar must have been chuckling to himself when the gorillas used their combined strength to push an upturned bus towards the humans, and the humans responded by... shooting continuously at the approaching layers of impenetrable metal. More proof that - with few exceptions - every single human in this film is a stupid moron.
Buck



Final bit of pedantry: if Buck was kept away from the other apes, how did he receive a dose of the monkey drug when we see both cannisters spent in the cage area?
I await your rebuttals.