The 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards

Kim Kardashian duets with Jimmy introducing the Reality segment of the show. I honestly had to check online who she was. I’m perfectly okay with that.

Reality

There’s a long reality montage of reality shows, and I’m happy to say I have no idea what many of them are.

Will Arnett starts to read out a dirty poem but is stopped by his co-presenter whose name I’ve already forgotten. She looks vaguely familiar, maybe it’s the girl who played Anne in Arrested Development.
I’d rather hear a dirty limerick than watch the Reality segment if I’m honest.
Ha! The nominees for best reality competition are read out by Movie Phone Voice guy in an incredibly dramatic way.
Top Chef wins, and one of the producers falls on her face in the aisle, which is funny and shouldn’t be. There are about 50 of them onstage, who knew it took so many people to run what is essentially a really long episode of Masterchef.

And that’s all she wrote for Reality. Excellent.

The Accounts of Ernst & Young, who are two old dudes and a hot young lady, are rolled out onstage to be clapped for funding the Emmys. Well done, you have all the money.

Julianna Margulies bitch-slaps Jimmy Fallon and we’re segued into Drama.
Drama

It’s a very Dramatic montage; spoilerific for non US viewers and fans of series finales, and the crowd go nuts for Friday Night Lights. I should watch that.

Mad Men wins Best Writing. And I should think so too, I hope Matthew Weiner has been working on his speech because he’s had this award in the bag for months. Alas, he hasn’t, and the music comes on and his speech is cut off halfway. Oopsy.

Best Supporting Actor in a Drama is a toughie, but I’d like it to go to Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad) or John Slattery (Mad Men), and it does. Aaron Paul’s name is announced, and he gets a hell of an ovation. He espouses the greatness of Breaking Bad, and walks the wrong way off stage in a daze.

Emily Deschanel and Nathan Fillion, my two TV favourites, present Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama.
Archie Panjabi wins for her work on The Good Wife, which I haven’t seen one single episode of. Naughty recapper. She’s English. Gives a nice, succinct set of thank you’s and is honest in her speech – “This is so good for my career”.

Best Actor is too hard to guess. No way is it going to Matthew Fox, but the rest of them are so close there’s not even light between them, and Bryan Cranston wins his 3rd in a row for Breaking Bad.
He’s a humble winner, and says lovely things about his wife and daughter and also walks off the wrong way. They think they’d been watching this long enough to see which way is off.

Two people whose names I missed, and who I did not recognise at all, announce more things we already knew last week: Best Guest Actor and Actress in a Drama were John Lithgow and Anne Margaret respectively.
Both winners appear in order to present the award for Drama Directing. Surely Mad Men?
But John Lithgow is pleased to bellow that the award went to Steve Shill for Dexter. John Hodgman, our facts announcer for the night, announces that Steve Shill has worked in “Edinburg”, and goes down steeply in my estimation.

Jimmy Fallon “in memoriam’s” some big series that ended this year through song, and I have to say Fallon is a talented mimic, and the end of Lost was baffling.

A big wide shot to the crowd looks like they’re totally loving the show, and they should be. It’s been an hour and a half and I’m really not bored yet. Could have done without the Twitter bit altogether, it doesn’t work and Fallon looks very uncomfortable reading them out. Because they are neither funny, nor interesting.

Fallon appears in a lovely white tuxedo Twitnouncing Matthew Morrison and Tina Fey. Tina looks amazing, and she’s so natural on camera, it puts the other presenters to shame.
They are presenting Best Actress in a Drama, and it goes to Kyra Sedgwick for The Closer, a show that I forgot even existed, who kisses her husband in an overly intimate way for the occasion. She passes her Emmy to Tina to hold while she reads her speech and I’m pretty sure Fey does a little bitch about it being “the only one she’ll hold all night”. You can’t win them all Tina love.