The Avengers bootleg DVD subtitles are inaccurate, hilarious


29th August 2012

Or should that be 'The Mega Fighters Of Earth'? Welcome to the hilarious world of Foreigners Translating The English Language Into English Subtitles And Somehow Getting It Horribly Wrong.

Having been told that I was only allowed the time off for my honeymoon on the condition that I spend the whole time working on a feature, I present to you this: The Thai bootleg DVD subtitle experiment. Catchy, I know.

For some reason Asian bootleg DVDs feature poorly translated subtitles (often referred to as 'Engrish subtitles' by people less scared of seeming racist than me), often with amazing results. So I decided to buy one of these illegal pirated copies to see if I could unearth some linguistic treasures. I set my sights on The Avengers. What follow are screengrabs of the funniest incidences of language failure, with the correct lines of dialogue underneath. Enjoy!

Legal disclaimer: By purchasing this pirate DVD, I did NOT fund terrorism. I spoke to the guy running the stall and he assured me that any profits he made actually went to the wardrobe department of the local monkey fire show.
I am Loki of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose.
Yeah, you say peace. I kinda think you mean the other thing.
[Thanks for that]
Let me put you on hold.
Doctor, we're facing a potential global catastrophe.
This isn't about the Avengers.
These people may be isolated, unbalanced even.
Against the meager might of Earth?
They're vintage. He's very proud.
Doesn't matter - if he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract is lost.
I remember you tossing me into an abyss.
So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights.
I have grown, Odin's son.
You have made me very desperate.
When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?
Steve, tell me none of this smells a little funky to you?
This is my bargain, you mewling quim!
You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you.
I'm sorry, boss. The god rabbited.
I'll tell you on the way. Can you fly one of those jets?
They needed the push.
Shut it down, Dr Selvig.
If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it.
Sir, we have a bird in motion.
There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here.
Marvel Avengers Assemble is released (legitimately) on DVD and Blu-ray on 17th September. With actual, official subtitles, no doubt. I urge you all to buy it - mainly because it will help my case if I ever get into trouble with F.A.C.T. for posting this. IT WAS FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES.

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