Feature

Top 20 Movie Insults Part II

Ali

5th February 2009

The last movie insults article we posted turned out to be our most popular ever - read it here - so it seems like there's something in this verbal beatdown thing. After trawling the sassiest corners of the internet and subjecting ourselves to torrents of cinematic bitch-slaps, we proudly present 20 more movie insults, each one guaranteed to make you look 78% cooler in an argument.

 20. GLEAMING THE CUBE (1989)
 BRIAN KELLY (CHRISTIAN SLATER)

The situation: Skate punk Slater is being hassled by 'the man'.

The insult: "If my dog had a face like yours, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards."

Why it rules: It's delivered with an arched eyebrow and was as close as Christian Slater got to Nicholson-esque cool.

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 19. STAR WARS (1977)
 PRINCESS LEIA (CARRIE FISHER)

The situation: The hoity-toity princess has had just about as much of space rogue Han Solo as she can handle.

The insult: "Why you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder!"

Why it rules: "Hey... who's scruffy-looking?" Oh Han, how we love you.

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 18. THERE WILL BE BLOOD (2008)
 DANIEL PLAINVIEW (DANIEL DAY LEWIS)

The situation: Oil man Plainview, long bonkers, lectures Paul Dano's pathetic preacher Eli when he dares come to him asking for money.

The insult: "Stop crying, you snivelling ass! Stop your nonsense. You're just an afterbirth, Eli. You slithered out of your mother's filth. They should have put you in a glass jar on the mantelpiece."

Why it rules: This is just a starter; it precedes the most almighty meltdown in modern movie history. "DRAAAINAGE!" indeed.

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 17. CADDYSHACK (1980)
 AL CZERVIK (RODNEY DANGERFIELD)

The situation: Al is enjoying dinner at Bushwood and his quips are killing until he meets Judge Smails and his elderly wife.

The insult: "Oh, this is your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity."

Why it rules: It's just one of a torrent of zingers unleashed by a never-funnier Dangerfield. Rodney, you're alright!

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 16. CASABLANCA (1942)
 RICK BLAINE (HUMPHREY BOGART)

The situation: Peter Lorre's weasel Ugarte attempts to get the measure of Bogie's bar owner, asking him: "You despise me, don't you Rick?"

The insult: "If I gave you any thought, I probably would."

Why it rules: There was no talking to the hand or impromptu breakdancing, but this is how fools got served during the war.

More:  Top10  Insults
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