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 TOP 20 RIDICULOUS ACTION MOVIE MOMENTS The ‘You gotta be fucking kidding me’ awards  Action movies should always be taken with a pinch of salt, but sometimes you’ve got to say enough is enough. We can stomach exploding choppers, secret agents and kung fu chefs, but every so often an action movie comes along with a scene so dumb, it defies belief – the moment that yanks you out of the film and has you muttering “Oh come on...” These are those moments of lunacy, the stupidest, most ridiculous scenes in action movie history, award-winners in their own way, every single one of them. Try and enjoy, and no laughing at the back. 20. THE HELICOPTER SWAN DIVE in CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLEThe lowdown: The sequel to the girl power action romp opens with the three girls – Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz – shaking their asses undercover in Mongolia, but when they’re rumbled, they make their escape by truck. Why so stupid? It’s an OTT action spectacular so you can forgive it so much, but when the girls narrowly avoid a rocket launcher up the face and plummet off a bridge to their doom, it looks like they’re heading for a sticky end. Our angels are lucky enough to have been driving a flatbed truck with a helicopter on it, and as they fall thousands of feet through the air, they dive into the freefalling chopper, start up the rotors and fly away, just millimetres away from the ground. Utter bollocks, even for a movie this cheesy. In reality... The three angels land with a splat and make three pretty pancakes, saving the world from countless shitty chick flicks and rom-coms in the process. Wins the award for: Best Misunderstanding Of Helicopter Physics.  19. THE TIME-TRAVEL CAR CHASE in DÉJÀ VUThe lowdown: Denzel Washington plays a cop brought in to investigate a ferry bombing. He’s introduced to a small team of tech wizards who’ve managed to find a way to look directly into the past, but only exactly four days ago. Why so stupid? Having just spent a full five minutes explaining how the complicated time-folding technology works, it’s all shot to shit when Denzel runs outside and gets in a Hummer with the same abilities. “How do I turn this thing on?” he asks, putting on the VR-style helmet. “There’s an On/Off switch on the back,” comes the reply. Simple! He then rips through the New Orleans highway chasing after a dude who’s four days in the past and not even really there. In reality... Nothing in Déjà Vu is even remotely connected to reality, so we guess Denzel just gets in a car and drives home. Wins the award for: Best Time-Travel Car Chase.  18. THE BUS LIFT in SWORDFISHThe lowdown: Hacker Hugh Jackman is recruited by Halle Berry’s tits to work for John Travolta’s sinister villain. And why wouldn’t he? Hell, he looks like a reliable boss, apart from maybe that evil little goatee and his tendency to stare at people like they’re made of magic eye pictures. Why so stupid? Travolta and his gang pull off a daring bank job and make a daring getaway on... a public bus. Not to worry, because help is at hand when a huge helicopter descends from the sky, picks up the bus like a toy in a arcade grabber and carries it through the L.A. sky, swinging it through billboards and buildings. As Jackman’s spacker hacker puts it, ‘they dropped a logic bomb through the trap door!’ In reality... The helicopter’s winch tears the roof off the bus, allowing FBI snipers a clear shot at John Travolta’s massive head. Movie over. Wins the award for: Dumbest Way To Get From A-To-B In A Hurry.  17. SLY STALLONE JUMPS ACROSS A RAVINE in CLIFFHANGERThe lowdown: A mid-air heist goes wrong when suitcases full of cash are dropped from a plane over a snowy mountain range. Sly plays a mountaineer who’s forced by John Lithgow’s evil robber to go get the green. Why so stupid? While being chased by that guy from Third Rock, Sly works up a head of steam and launches himself across a canyon, from one mountain to another, while wearing heavy mountain gear. That’s the biggest guy in showbiz (“A condom full of walnuts,” as one wit famously put it) literally jumping across an entire ravine. Right. To be fair, the sequence did only feature in the original trailer and test screenings of the movie, until right-minded cinemagoers pissed themselves laughing. He’d need a spectacular amount of roids to make that jump. In reality... Stallone plummets like an anvil and falls short by some several dozen feet, leaving a bemused Lithgow wondering why Sly thought he could fly. Wins the award for: Most Optimistic/Heroic Leap Of The Century.  16. THE BRIDE TAKES ON THE CRAZY 88s in KILL BILL: VOLUME ONEThe lowdown: Left for dead on her wedding day, the Bride sets off on a rip-roaring rampage of revenge, with former partner O-Ren Ishii and her band of merry men first on her hit list. Why so stupid? Fair enough, in ‘The Quentin Universe’ anything goes, even if that does include a chick (who looks like she’d be carried off by a strong breeze) fighting off 88 bloodthirsty Yakuza members. The Bride slices, dices and maims her way through hordes of henchmen with her Hattori Hanzo sword, never once stopping for breath or to wipe the blood off her awesome Game of Death-style jumpsuit. Take pity on the poor bastard who has to clean up the assorted heads and limbs she leaves behind. In reality... One of the Crazy 88s gets tired waiting for his turn to fight and stabs the Bride in the back. Bill lives a long and prosperous life. Wins the award for: Most Faceless Henchman Killed In A Single Sitting. Ridiculous action scenes 15-11! >>>  Click here to read and post comments (currently 37 comments) |
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