"How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?" The wise words of one Tyler Durden, and a maxim we live by here at TheShiznit. The fifty scenes celebrated in this article represent the finest fights in cinema history, the almighty showdowns that shook the Earth to its very core. Featuring men, women, dinosaurs, robots and computer viruses, it's an unparalled feast of fist-on-fist action that packs a knockout punch. Enjoy!
50. FREE-RUNNING COP vs CASINO CRIMINALS in DISTRICT 13 Free-running - a sport only to be attempted by insanely fit athletes or insanely stupid, brittled-boned YouTube wannabes. District 13 has its fair share of wall-running, high-jumping Frenchies, but it's also got some kickass action sequences, like the casino brawl below. It's all done for real - no wires, no CG, no pussying out, just Parkour expert Cyril Raffaelli dishing out some tasty Gallic beats. Ooh la la!
49. KING KONG vs THREE V-REXES in KING KONG (2005) Humanity has long taken pleasure in making animals fight - nothing makes you proud to be a man like a good old-fashioned cockfight - and this titanic battle sees two titans of the jungle go toe-to-toe. Sure, it's a bunch of CG creations taking chunks out of each other (see Van Helsing for an example how not to do this) but there can't be many people who didn't wince when they saw Kong snap open the defeated V-Rex's jaw. Monkey wins!
48. JOHN MATRIX vs BENNETT in COMMANDO This entry might as well have been titled 'Heterosexuality vs Homosexuality'. Arnie's death-dealing hero is all glistening muscle, as manly as scientifically possible. Vernon Wells' Bennett has a moustache. You do the math. "I'm going to shoot you in the balls, John" yells Bennett, seconds before he's impaled by a giant pipe. Which is probably just how he would have wanted to go. Straights FTW!
47. V vs THE GOVERNMENT in V FOR VENDETTA Freedom fighter V might look like a trick or treater and sounds like he swallowed a dictionary, but he can certainly kick some ass. Here, he's faced with a posse of gun-waving goons, who seem certain that hand-cannons = victory. Not so. With the classic Lock Stock ethos "Guns for show, knives for a pro" in mind, V proceeds to slice and dice the totalitarian government goons like a kitchen chef gone mad. Guy Fawkes was a bum - this is how to stick it to the man.
46. MARK DARCY vs DANIEL CLEAVER in BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY Not every great fight scene has to involve kung fu or expert swordsmanship. In fact, this tussle is quite the opposite, with two highly amateur combatants getting their wrestle on. In their heads, Darcy and Cleaver probably think they're born fighters. In reality, they paw at each other like over-affectionate kittens. Extra marks are awarded for the realistic fight dialogue, most of which sounds like this: "Ehh... ehhhrrghh... ehhhhh..."
45. ONE-PUNCH MICKEY vs GOOD NIGHT ANDERSON in SNATCH Before Guy Ritchie disappeared up his own colon with Revolver, he actually made pretty fun films. Snatch easily rivals Lock Stock in the coolness stakes, with Pitt's pikey boxer the definite highlight. Set to Oasis' 'Fuckin' In The Bushes', the final fight is an amazingly visceral scene, with Pitt's Mickey - capable of knocking out a man with one punch - forced to restrain himself. Stick to films about geezers scrapping, Guy - it's what you do best.
44. CLERIC JOHN PRESTON vs THOUGHT POLICE in EQUILIBRIUM Before he was Batman, Christian Bale was just pissed off cleric John Preston, a man responsible for removing all art forms and expression from a world gone mad. Turning his back on a life of fascism, Preston takes it upon himself to fight back, utilising his skills in the art of 'Gunkata' i.e. hitting people with guns really fast. Still, it looks awesome, as you can see in this compilation of the best fight sequences. (If I ever rule the world, Linkin Park's music is going to be the first thing I outlaw).
43. HAPPY GILMORE vs BOB BARKER in HAPPY GILMORE I'm sure many of us have fantasised about slamming Adam Sandler in the face repeatedly, but Bob Barker is the lucky guy who got to live the dream. Rough around the edges golfer Gilmore is plumbing new depths of suck when celeb teammate Barker gets his trash talk on: Happy gets in the first punch, but is on the receiving end of the next few dozen. "The price is wrong, bitch!" he unwisely spits, before Barker connects with a gut-punch and lays a haymaker on the Click cock's clock. That's for Chuck And Larry. Bitch.
43. 42. T-800 vs T-1000 in TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY It's robot versus slightly cooler robot in James Cameron's beyond-awesome sci-fi action flick. Arnie spends the entire movie being pwned by Robert Patrick's gloopy future-bot and finds out the hard way just how outdated a model he is when he has his automaton arse handed to him on a plate in the final fight scene. Of course, being an all-American hero (Arnie for President!), the Schwarz reboots and saves the day, before hitting Ctrl+Alt+Delete and consigning himself to the electronic knackers yard.
41. DANIEL LARUSSO vs JOHNNY LAWRENCE in THE KARATE KID The Karate Kid's climactic fight between clean-cut do-gooder Larusso and Cobra Kai badass Johnny Lawrence isn't exactly a tough one to call - who's to say it wouldn't have been a better ending if Daniel san's leg snapped clean off - but it did introduce the Crane Kick to playgrounds around the world. However, any brave young nerds who prepared to unleash Miyagi's trademark blow to their local bully would have discovered one ass-kicking later that it didn't work for shit.