True Bromance

Kirsty Harrison,
Ed Williamson

19th August 2011

'Bromances'. Not content with being merely a blight on our otherwise pulchritudinous language, the bromance has infiltrated our consciousness to the point that any admiration one chap has for another, no matter how professional or academic, is now boiled down to an Americanised hug and bubbles love affair. Without touching. Here's about eight or nine of the best on TV.

There's been an online petition, and some pressure on The Children's Television Workshop, to have long-time room-mates and bezzie buddies Bert and Ernie get married now that it's all the rage in the US. Sesame Street have confirmed that it's not going to happen - Bert and Ernie just aren't gay (not that there's anything wrong with that ...) - they are in fact the archetypal bromance: two guys who have each other's back, enjoy a bit of banter and, frankly, love each other. In a totally straight, Han/Chewie, way. Not like Big Bird and Snuffleupagus, who were totally doing it.

But what makes for a bromance? Well, let's begin at the Beguine. No one can explain it better than the duo at the top of our list.
Turk and JD Scrubs

Chocolate and Vanilla Bear respectively, these two have been together since university. Their mutual appreciation sometimes tippy-toes over the bromance line into the realms of bi-curiosity (JD would not need a gun to his head to slurp some chocolate milkshake, ifyouknowwhatI'msaying), but roommates, colleagues or duet partners, they're always looking out for each other, and steering clear of Hooch. Hooch was crazy!

Norm and Cliff Cheers

You know on those great nights out with your friends, when you're in a bar and you all look at each other and wish this night could last forever? Well, for Norm Peterson and Cliff Claven it has. Only it's a lot less magical when you're pushing 40 and either hate your home life or live with your mum.

Cliff Claven knows a little bit about a little bit of everything, and Norm knows when someone's moved his barstool. They have each other and a tall frosty beverage - what in this beautiful land could they possibly need besides that?

Bret and Jemaine Flight of the Conchords

When you and your bandmate travel halfway across the world on a tandem to become America's fourth most popular novelty folk act, you're going to become pretty close.

Like a real-life Bert and Ernie, Jemaine and Bret sleep in the same room (single beds, ladies), are naive about most things post-Amish, wear stripy jumpers and, AND, Bret's name is an anagram of Bert's. Because everyone else seems to be out to get them, not least their crazy groupie Mel and anyone Australian, they have to rely on and trust each other completely. Also, a tape recorder is a terrible substitute for a bandmate. Manager Murray would like to think he was in a bromance with them too, but he'd be wrong.

Tim and Mike Spaced

Tim Bisley and Mike Watt. Two of a kind. Kind of.

Mike is Tim's constant companion, which is a good job as he's far too lazy and self-obsessed to bother finding a new best bud. Tim keeps Mike from invading France. Again.

They build tanks together, rave together, they even have flashbacks together. Like Greyfriars Bobby, I can imagine Mike sitting guard over Tim's last resting place. Where Mike possibly put him when a grenade demonstration went horribly awry.

Geordi and Data Star Trek: The Next Generation

Is a bromance still a bromance when one of you isn't, technically, a bro? Geordi La Forge is the closest thing Data (Soong?) has to a friend; mostly because he doesn't fully understand the concept. Geordi likes him though as, seeing as they're stuck light years away from any other people most of the time, his 'best pal' choices are either the nerdly robot, a cornish-pasty-headed psychopath, or a smug neckbeard. It's the robot. Every time.

Plus Data is incredibly loyal - because he's read somewhere that you should be. And he's waterproof, good as a shield, and can probably make the replicator make pretty much anything you'd need for a kick-ass party. Like having a Swiss army knife for a BFF.

More bromances over the page ...

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