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Potentially good Adam Sandler film alert

Posted by Ed Williamson at 14:00 on 20 Aug 2014

(*sighs*) Fine, another trailer for an Adam Sandler film, nothing to see here WAIT SHIT HE'S GOT A BEARD IT MUST BE A SERIOUS ONE MAN YOUR STATIONS EVERYBODY

Review: Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

Posted by Ali Gray at 07:00 on 20 Aug 2014
Sin City: A Dame To Kill For
Nine years after the pages turned on Robert Rodriguez's first Sin City movie, and with at least three major parts recast, you can't help but think this Dame To Kill For is sashaying into town long after everyone has lost interest. Showing no signs of added maturity - if anything it's even more juvenile - this slick-yet-soulless sequel features the required quota of girls, guns and garrotting, but it's unlikely to win over those who were unimpressed by the same stiff sideshow almost a decade ago.

New Shiznit film critic Michael Owen reviews this week's new releases

Posted by Michael Owen at 13:30 on 15 Aug 2014
New Shiznit film critic Michael Owen reviews this week's new releases
The internet did a collective snigger today when a Guardian interview revealed footballer-turned-pundit Michael Owen had only ever seen five films in his life, including Jurassic Park, Ghost and Heat. Because I'm a die hard Liverpool fan and I'm always keen to expand the horizons of fledgling film fans, I asked Michael if he was up for watching and reviewing five of this week's new releases, doubling his total. Unbelievably, he said yes! I know! I'm still in shock! Take it away, Michael Owen!

Create your own Expendables villain!

Posted by Ali Gray, Luke Whiston at 16:30 on 15 Aug 2014
Create your own Expendables villain!
As you've no doubt seen discussed on The Pirate Bay, The Expendables 3 hits cinemas this week. It's a franchise famous for overblown action, probable steroid abuse and dubious berets, but above all else, it's famous for its ridiculous character names. Joining Lee Christmas, Hale Caesar and Toll Road is Mel Gibson's villain: Conrad Stonebanks. Let the swill around your mouth for a few minutes.

Review: Lucy

Posted by Ali Gray at 09:00 on 14 Aug 2014
In an increasingly formulaic industry, it's rarer now than ever to experience that most simple of pleasures: a movie you can't predict. Lucy is a bizarre mish-mash of ideas - Besson himself says the first third is Leon: The Professional, the middle section is Inception and the final act is 2001: A Space Odyssey - and it gels about as well as you'd expect. It's frustrating in its execution and bafflingly vague where it matters. But, but: just try to second guess it. Even if it falls short in almost every department, Lucy is a fascinating anti-blockbuster that delights in its deficiencies - even the anti-climactic ending is a thrill, just because it's different.

Spoiler alert

Posted by Ali Gray at 16:30 on 13 Aug 2014
Spoiler alert
Short film, am I right or am I right?

That's easy for you to say McFerrin, you happy-clappy prick (*sobs*)

Posted by Ali Gray at 09:20 on 12 Aug 2014

Bye, Robin. You always made it easier to be happy.

Review: The Congress

Posted by Becky Mather at 07:00 on 12 Aug 2014
The Congress
Talk about kicking a girl whilst she's down. Just moments after staring longingly at a younger version herself on the poster for The Princess Bride in the opening minutes of The Congress, Robin Wright is scolded by her agent (Harvey Keitel) for continually making lousy choices in her career as well as life, then by a studio head for having the audacity to get old. Clearly The Congress isn't afraid to make a difficult point, but its problem is that it wants to make so many of them.

50 fun facts you didn't know about The Expendables or maybe you did

Posted by Ali Gray at 09:00 on 11 Aug 2014
50 fun facts you didn't know about The Expendables or maybe you did
You'd think by now, with three Expendables movies under his Expendabelt, we'd know all there is to know about Sylvester Stallone, Barney Ross and his motley crew of mercenaries. You'd be wrong: DEAD WRONG. Because they are mysteries wrapped in enigmas wrapped in delicious sausagemeat. Here are 50 things you could never conceivably have known about The Expendables, you close-minded little shrimps.

The Sin City 2 character poster you've all been waiting for

Posted by Ali Gray at 14:30 on 10 Aug 2014
The Sin City 2 character poster you've all been waiting for
Powers Boothe is literally 20th on the cast list.
Out this week
+Million Dollar Arm (PG)
Our review
+As Above, So Below (15)
Our review
+Obvious Child (15)
Our review
+Mystery Road (15)
Our review
+Let's Be Cops (15)
+If I Stay (12A)
+Night Moves (15)