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Review: Spy

Posted by Ali Gray at 08:00 on 10 Jun 2015
Spy
I'm not sure I understand how people continually lump Melissa McCarthy into the same category of comedians as the likes of Kevin James (actually, I do understand, I just choose to ignore it), because she's so much more talented than him it's barely a contest. Comic timing? Check. Pathos? Check. A habit of making her co-stars appear funnier by proxy? Check. These are not qualities you typically associate with Paul Blart: Mall Cop. McCarthy, on the other hand, is the complete package, and she furthers her winning relationship with director Paul Feig in Spy, albeit to not quite so winning effect as previous team-ups The Heat and Bridesmaids. The most important stat for the non-believers? There is only one [1] pratfall in Spy; Paul Blart: Mall Cop had 25.

Review: Gascoigne

Posted by Ed Williamson at 23:00 on 09 Jun 2015
Gascoigne
Most people whose lives merit a feature-length documentary are probably going to participate in only one, and so you suspect this will stand as the only one Paul Gascoigne will ever do. This is a shame, because while it gets behind the clowning and reveals his fractured psyche a little in flashes, it's a busted flush overall.

THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY

Posted by Ali Gray at 23:00 on 08 Jun 2015
THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY
Watch out, HOLLYLOLWOOD! The Smosh guys are coming for you, I imagine!

Uwe Boll is doing great

Posted by Ali Gray at 08:46 on 08 Jun 2015


Uwe Boll's latest crowd-funding campaign crashed and burned, cruelly denying the world Rampage 3, a film Boll considers "an important movie". Reminder: a guy once made $55,000 on Kickstarter for making potato salad.

Peter O'Toole once rode a camel on TV and then MADE IT DRINK BEER

Posted by Matt Looker at 09:49 on 31 May 2015


Just imagine someone like Christian Bale doing that today. Oh god, Christian Bale would totally do that, wouldn't he?

When can we stop pretending that Dwayne Johnson is an action hero?

Posted by Ali Gray at 00:30 on 30 May 2015
When can we stop pretending that Dwayne Johnson is an action hero?
At this point in his career, Dwayne Johnson is stuck between The Rock and a hard place. He's already overcome an obstacle that has pinned many a man: a wrestling past that places him squarely in the same category as acting luminaries like Hulk Hogan, 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura. Johnson has more acting talent in his pecs than these grapplers had in their entire bodies, but recently, The Artist Formerly Known As 'The Rock' has accepted roles that don't play up to his strengths - and when I say 'strengths' I'm not referring to his muscles. Dwayne Johnson is not an Action Hero, so can we stop treating him like one?

Review: Danny Collins

Posted by Ed Williamson at 22:00 on 28 May 2015
Danny Collins
Hello, I am a man and I am rich and famous and a bit of a dick, but watch as I earn the right to be reappraised. You will know that I deserve it because I have one old friend who sticks by me unwaveringly, I harbour regrets about having chosen an easy path towards my fame, and children react well to me.

One from the mailbag: A True Lies extra gets in touch

Posted by Matt Looker at 07:00 on 28 May 2015
One from the mailbag: A True Lies extra gets in touch
I honestly have no idea how he got hold of my email address.

Review: San Andreas

Posted by Ali Gray at 07:00 on 27 May 2015
San Andreas
The modern disaster movie is at an impasse, and no amount of hurling Dwayne Johnson at it will succeed. There isn't a disaster you can think of - whether it's from the pit of the Earth or the darkest realms of outer space - that can't be rendered by a room-full of under-fed, under-paid GFX nerds in California. The only limit, therefore, is imagination, and sadly, San Andreas is a movie that's barely capable of coherent or rational thought. Director Brad Peyton borrows a series of second-hand set-pieces from the Roland Emmerich playbook; with buildings collapsing left, right and centre, San Andreas doesn't so much evoke powerful 9/11 imagery as it recalls entire sequences from other, better movies.

I just now got round to watching Piranha 3DD so here are some notes

Posted by Ali Gray at 01:10 on 25 May 2015
I just now got round to watching Piranha 3DD so here are some notes
Tonight was one of those nights where there was literally nothing on so you go, look, we can either watch Alan Carr do fake-laughs about cheap alcohol with someone from TOWIE or we can watch Piranha 3DD. I wish somehow I could have closed my eyes and synergised the two together so I could have watched Alan Carr being eaten by angry fish. Here are my notes on Piranha 3DD which are only three years late.
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