Oh God, when will it end? 3D Star Wars inevitable, says George Lucas

Brace yourself for a whole new slew of Star Wars re-releases, complete with a whole new dimension. It's all Avatar's fault, apparently.

What's your Mum's favourite film?

Trust me, this is going somewhere. I think.

Awesome 70-minute critique of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Generally listening to a film nerd tell you in detail why they disliked a film is about as pleasurable as trying to extract a wisdom tooth. But this critique of The Phantom Menace is different. Why? Because it's correct.

Why vampires should bite, not suck

Teen girls suck. There, I said it. And I don't mean in the "verify your credit card to access" internet specialist site way that makes you feel vaguely dirty and seedy even if you are researching a book or something.

Robert Zemeckis thinks Robert Zemeckis worthy of an Oscar

And the award for Only Person Who Still Believes Performance Capture Is The Future goes to...

Why no one should pay to see Michael Jackson's This Is It

On Wednesday 28 October, thousands of Michael Jackson fans will flock to cinemas to see This Is It, a concert movie that is unique, because technically there is no concert to speak of. Instead, This Is It contains footage of Jackson in rehearsal for his 50-night residency at London's O2 Arena – a commitment which ultimately proved too much for him.

Your indie film is shit

Independent Cinema. A once byword for daring, independent filmmaking has been co-opted by the studios into what now means a quirky, feel-good turd wrapped in a soundtrack by the likes of Smog, Ween and any other number of lo-fi bands that play coffee-houses across America.

Whatever happened to the humble monster movie?

It seems for a good few years now we've been stuck in a rut when it comes to contemporary horror. That rut has earned itself the label of "torture porn," a genre of horror films whose storylines revolve around sadistic killers torturing helpless victims while the camera swoops, pans around and zooms in, capturing every severed artery and globule of blood in almost loving detail.

Avatar footage: first impressions

The entire internet and their cyberpets have been blogging about the Avatar footage all weekend. Now it's my turn.

The 9 most retarded things about G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra

It takes a certain type of movie to actually insult the intelligence of people who enjoyed a Michael Bay movie, but G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is that movie.