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13 creative ways to legally break a movie review superembargo
Movie News
Ali
6th August 2012
Review embargoes are a necessary evil in the world of film journalism: in all honesty, a paltry price to pay if it means you get to watch a top film first and for free. However, as I've discussed before, some embargoes can be staggeringly draconian, like the one I received today. Naturally, all it made me want to do was figure out a way to break it.
Among the various conditions were the usual caveats (thou shalt not break the review date, thou shalt not tweet etc) but the embargo also contained some real hum-dingers.
"
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"Discussion of such matters must be avoided in public places, such as elevators, restaurants, and restrooms, as these conversations may be overheard.""
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"These confidentiality obligations apply until [date removed] and extend even to disclosures to family members and/or close friends."Because I'm a lone wolf and I don't play by the rules, this sort of hard-nosed legalese just makes me want to rebel; and even though I signed the embargo, because, y'know, I like watching films, I still drew up some plans on how to break these superembargoes in the future. The key is to get creative - outthink the thought police and you can spill plot details and review summations to your heart's content.
Here are a few ways you can break embargoes with 100% impunity.
Expensive but totally worth it.
They can't sue your subconscious! (Probably).
Only half of your audience will be able to understand you anyway.
Don't forget to eat the evidence when you're done.
Having a wee is a basic human right: it just came out like that.
It doesn't even have to be your lawn; in fact, it's better if it isn't.
It's the cornerstone of a successful relationship/career in film journalism.
You want to file a lawsuit against Mr Woofers? If you want to look stupid...
Just make sure you don't give the movie studio your dictionary.
Even more permanent than a Rotten Tomatoes hotlink.
If you've got a forehead full of pus, you might as well put it to good use.
It's a dying art, you'll probably get government funding.
You can get away with anything in the throes of passion.
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