Andre: "My kids? Take 'em or leave 'em, to be honest"

Professional father and crier Peter Andre has exclusively revealed that he's actually not all that bothered about his children.

As season 17 of Peter Andre: My Life is readied for broadcast we sit down with its star, who reveals to us that his kids are a massive pain in the arse.

"Sure, they're fine when they're asleep or I can manage to find an Octonauts DVD that's not covered in jam and stick it on," Andre elaborates, through tears. "But the rest of the time they're trying to eat out of the bin or stick crayons in each other's eyes.

"I was trying to get Junior to eat some bolognese the other day, and Princess Tiaamii comes up and sticks her toe in it. Laughing like a mentalist all the while.

"And I'm like, 'You've ruined your brother's dinner', but she just laughs at me then goes and treads it into the carpet in the Pink Room. Totally on purpose too.

"She's a mysterious girl."

"They're fine as kids go," Andre confesses tearfully. "But come off it, they're still kids at the end of the day. It's not like you can have a pint with them or sit down and watch the golf.

"One of them drew a picture of me and put it on the fridge. I had nine fingers on each hand. Nine. That's what I'm dealing with here."

The 'Insania' singer admits he sometimes drives to a more remote branch of Sainsbury's than he needs to just to get an extra 20 minutes to himself. "It's nothing like the closest supermarket," he says, lachrymosely. "There's a big Tesco ten minutes closer on the ring-road, but I pretend they don't do the yoghurts I like.

"They do. They're two for one at the moment as well. But sitting in the car on my own with The Archers on is the only pleasure I have left. Please don't take it away from me."