Daily Mail writer claims he was bullied over Kick-Ass review

Chris Tookey, the Daily Mail reviewer who called Kick-Ass "evil" and said of Hit-Girl "Paedophiles will adore her", has claimed he's fallen foul of an "internet hate mob". Actual quote: "Waah waah waah."

Daily Mail journalists are pretty much the least respected and most hated writers in the business, not only because of all the hateful, sickening tripe they report, but for their pre-Victorian views on everything from violence in entertainment to immigration to the homosexual lifestyle. The Mail will wank themselves into a froth over even the mildest controversies.

When reviewer Chris Tookey reviewed Kick-Ass last month, he called it "sick", "perverted" and claimed it "revelled in the abuse of children". He also fixated on the 11 year-old character of Hit-Girl, who he called "sexually aggressive", before stating in cold, hard terms: "Paedophiles will adore her." How do you know, Chris? Takes one to know one! Burn!

Sadly, it's jokes like that one that have caused Tookey to follow up on his review by alleging that he's become a victim of "the internet lynch mob". Hankies to the ready everyone, it's one hell of a sob story!

Stop laughing at the back. Chris Tookey has been bullied, and bullying is serious, as you can tell from the facts and figures he repeats about tragic and preventable teen suicides. Except, of course, that Chris Tookey isn't a suggestible child, but a grown man, whose medieval opinions are to the internet what Mick Hucknall's face is to punching.

The teary-eyed rant continues, with Tookey painting himself as a victim of some horrible crime. "Of course, my story is nowhere near as tragic as..." he continues, listing several stories of teen suicides, which, indeed, are far more tragic than his. So why bother mentioning them, you tool?

Agreed, ranting at The Daily Mail is about as effective as yelling at the turd you've just trodden in, but do we really still live in an age where spurious internet chat is actually given credibility? Come crying to me when someone's lobbed a brick through your window, asshole. You're a journalist, you should be able to handle a few insults.

For the record, Chris, no, I do not think you are a paedophile. I do, however, think you are a total cunt. And I really mean that.