News
Hardy to get knob out on CBeebies
TV News
Ed Williamson
6th April 2017
Tom Hardy's popular stint on Bedtime Stories is to end with a series finale in which he just shows you his penis.
On Mother's Day his dreamily relaxed reading of There's a Bear on My Chair resulted in the near-death of a toddler who shut himself in the dishwasher while his mother "went upstairs for five minutes to dust the skirting boards".

In several cases, mothers simply downloaded the episodes to their mobile devices to ensure they were saved for future use and filed for divorce.
"I cannot see what possible use a husband is when I have these," explained one. "I mean look at him. Look at his dog. LOOK."
Leaked storyboards of the finale show Hardy in a comfy chair, draping his penis over an opened copy of Room on the Broom and sporadically pointing at it. His dog Woodstock lies, uninterested, in the corner.
When contacted for comment, Woodstock confirmed: "I am dog. Tom is best human. Dog like when Tom touch ears. All human wish they were me."
New Releases
-
Cold Pursuit
Our Review
-
Green Book
Our Review
-
Vice
Our Review
-
Glass
Our Review
-
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Our Review
Support Us

Follow Us
Recent Highlights
-
Review: Alita: Battle Angel has one foot in the future, one in the past
Movie Review
-
Review: One Cut of the Dead proves there is life in the zombie movie
Movie Review
-
Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe: Thor: The Dark World (2013)
Movie Feature
-
Review: The Lego Movie 2 plays nicely but has no new surprises
Movie Review
-
Review: Velvet Buzzsaw paints a dark canvas but is worse than the sum of its p-arts
Movie Review
Advertisement
And The Rest
-
Review: Cold Pursuit sees Mr Plow out for revenge in a temperate thriller
Movie Review
-
Review: Green Book is a road trip that takes Route 1
Movie Review
-
If 2019's Oscar-nominated movie posters told the truth
Movie Feature
-
Review: Vice shows Dick Cheney as a man with few virtues and ohhh, I see what you did there
Movie Review
-
Review: Glass is a fragile follow-up with wasted promise
Movie Review
-
Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe: Iron Man 3 (2013)
Movie Feature
-
Review: Colette is the literary period drama biopic that 2019 needs right now
Movie Review
-
Top 20 movie scenes of 2018
Movie Feature
-
Interview: Oh look, it's Olivia Colman
Movie Feature
-
The Apprentice: season 14, episode 12 recap: "High Nut Content"
TV Feature