News
Monopoly's plot revealed; Ridley Scott has clearly lost his
Movie News
Matt
12th November 2009
The man who made a massive snarling penis burst out of John Hurt's chest is still looking at directing more family-friendly fodder in a film version of every capitalist's favourite board game, Monopoly. Honestly. Look, no fingers crossed or anything. This is actually happening.
The announcement that Ridley Scott would be directing a Monopoly movie actually came a year ago, but we hadn't heard much more about the project since then so we all assumed Ridley had heard how it actually sounds in his head and blushingly swept it under a rug while coughing.
But no. Now we have news of the actual premise for the film. Strap yourselves in for a rollercoaster ride through 'dumb' and 'ass', courtesy of producer Frank Beddor.
It tries to incorporate all the iconic imageries - a sports car pulls up, there's someone on a horse, someone pushing a wheelbarrow - and rich Uncle Pennybags, you're going to see him as the maître d' at the restaurant and he's the buggy driver and the local eccentric and the doorman at the opera. There's all these sight gags."
Apparently, the film involves a man (let's, for argument's sake, call him 'Russell') whose ambition is to beat the world record for a Monopoly marathon. Sounds gripping, so far. Then, in doing so, he somehow enters the alternate universe within the board game itself.
Again...seriously?
So, if we all try to forget that this sounds like it should have been announced on April Fools Day and accept that this is actually happening, where shall we start? Right, I know - how do you cast a kid-friendly live-action 'rich Uncle Pennybags' without making him look like a registered sex offender?
Granted, it's early stages yet and it's too soon to start judging, but I think I speak for everyone when I say: "There's no way this can ever be any good ever."
Unless, maybe if they cast Megan Fox - she already has a Community Chest.
Support Us
Follow Us
Recent Highlights
-
Review: Jackass Forever is a healing balm for our bee-stung ballsack world
Movie Review
-
Review: Black Widow adds shades of grey to the most interesting Avenger
Movie Review
-
Review: Fast & Furious 9 is a bloodless blockbuster Scalextric
Movie Review
-
Review: Wonder Woman 1984 is here to remind you about idiot nonsense cinema
Movie Review
-
Review: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm arrives on time, but is it too little, or too much?
Movie Review
Advertisement
And The Rest
-
Review: The Creator is high-end, low-tech sci-fi with middling ambitions
Movie Review
-
Review: The Devil All The Time explores the root of good ol' American evil
Movie Review
-
Review: I'm Thinking Of Ending Things is Kaufman at his most alienating
Movie Review
-
Review: The Babysitter: Killer Queen is a sequel that's stuck in the past
Movie Review
-
Review: The Peanut Butter Falcon is more than a silly nammm peanut butter
Movie Review
-
Face The Music: The Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey soundtrack is most outstanding
Movie Feature
-
Review: Tenet once again shows that Christopher Nolan is ahead of his time
Movie Review
-
Review: Project Power hits the right beats but offers nothing new
Movie Review
-
Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe: Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Movie Feature
-
Review: Host is a techno-horror that dials up the scares
Movie Review