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Movie news round-up: Raccoons, The Rock and LaBeouf in the buff

Ali

19th August 2012

This week's movie news round-up was written during a bout of punishing heat and humidity, so don't blame me if it's even crappier than usual. Tsk, it's new excuses every week with me, isn't it?

Nicolas Cage is handling stuffed animals once more in this first trailer for Stolen, an action thriller that reunites him with Con Air director Simon West. Cage plays a master thief who must steal $10 million to save his daughter from the hands of his crazed former partner, played by Josh Lucas. Sounds great! FUCK it's hot tonight.

Marvel have allegedly approached James Gunn to direct Guardians Of The Galaxy, the 'Phase 2' ensemble movie about a gang of space-faring justice nerds. With the director of Slither and Super on board, this means you can expect it to lean more towards comedy than drama, which, let's face it, it just as well given one of the main leads is a gun-toting raccoon.
Shia LaBeouf has revealed that the cast of Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac will be actually having real sex on the set: "It's great, there's going to be willies and fannies and everything," he thought but didn't say. For your information, the movie will feature Charlotte Gainsbourg (yes), Nicole Kidman (YES) and Stellan SkarsgÄrd (*sets fire to penis*).
Nice work, Skyfall PR team: they've released this London-centric video blog at the best possible time, when the vast percentage of the capital's population have blissfully forgotten it's mostly a shithole.


Production on Iron Man 3 has ceased, albeit briefly, after Robert Downey Jr injured his ankle during a stunt. Oh sure, the whole film comes to a shuddering halt when Downey hurts his little toe or whatever, but I still have to go into work even when I'm feeling really, really peaky? Double standards, you guys.
If you thought it was odd that the invading force in Red Dawn was changed from China to North Korea, here's another curio. Go see Total Recall when it's out next week and you'll see the world split into two: the futuristic Wee Britain-esque 'United Federation of Britain' and the Asian-infused continent of 'The Colony' in, er... Australia? Despite the sets basically being China, complete with Asian design and Eastern motifs, Len Wiseman changed the location at the last minute so as not to upset the Eastern film market. This from the guy who called Maggie Q an "Asian hooker bitch" in Die Hard 4.

John Goodman has signed on to play the villain in The Hangover: Part III. I bet it was because of the hilarious and highly original script which Todd Phillips copied and pasted to him.
If you were ever in any doubt of the amount of work that goes into stop-motion animated feature films, this featurette on ParaNorman - which shows the sheer attention to detail in just one small item of set dressing - should convince you. The level of precision is stunning for such a relatively minor pay-off. Still, anything that keeps these insanely patient weirdos from killing people in the queue for Starbucks is okay by me.


The Avengers 2 has a release date: May 1st, 2015. I think my schedule is pretty busy that day but it's no biggie, I can juggle a few things around. Let me just make some calls. (*picks up candy-filled phone*)
This clip from Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master beats the rest of this week's news hands-down. It almost looks good enough to make me forget Joaquin Phoenix lived for 18 months as a failed rapper and made his friend take a shit on his head for his art. Almost.


There's a lot of talk on the web of a female ensemble action epic in the works, in The Expendables vein. Producer Adi Shankar has hired Dutch Southern to pen the script, although the internet is unable to tell me if that's a man or a woman. Boy, a female Expendables, huh? Only if they can, like, stop having their PERIODS! Amiright guys? (*sniggers*) Like, they could save the world and then cook The Expendables dinner! LOL! And then, maybe they could give all us men cuddles when we need to have a little cry, right fellas? Fellas?
This alarming press pic of Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman on the set of Robert Luketic's thriller Paranoia goes to show that Harrison Ford isn't quite the immortal we thought he was. Something about his baldy heed and tight green tee made me thought of another explorer...

Mouse over to reveal the Harrison Ford lookey-likey

I could quite happily watch Toy Story shorts, like this clip from Partysaurus Rex, for the rest of my life. Oh hey, wait - it turns out that's all I do with my life anyway.


Expect a new SpongeBob SquarePants movie in 2014. Here is an animated gif to celebrate this momentous news.

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