All the big-hitters make an appearance this week: The Dark Knight Rises, Prometheus, The Avengers and, um, Machete Kills; a sequel to the movie based on a trailer based on a fake movie. Can this be fake too?
Despite critical reaction to the first Machete movie being little more than a confused shrug (hipster quote of choice: "I preferred it when it was an ironic trailer"), Robert Rodriguez is forging ahead with follow-up Machete Kills regardless. Allegedly, he wants Michelle Williams for a role, and Mel Gibson for a cameo appearance. If you didn't think that was ridiculous enough, bear in mind this sequel is literally going into space.
Darren Aronofsky's big-budget Noah movie, starring Russell Crowe as the weirdy beardy title role, will be released on March 28th, 2014. I have a fundamental problem with the director of award-winning, eye-opening dramas like Black Swan and Requiem For A Dream telling a story in which the dramatic thrust is based around the successful re-housing of animals. We all know Noah is the role Rolf Harris was born to play anyway.
Matt's already seen The Avengers but he's not allowed to say how FRIGGIN' INCREDIBLE he thinks it is or isn't. Until then, would some B-roll footage suffice? You can catch up with a whole 20 minutes of Avenging over on Trailer Addict, although pre-warn your boner of spoilers.
There are some big names in the hat for the Robocop reboot; stars like Sean Penn, Gael Garcia Bernal, Rebecca Hall and Edward Norton are all being pursued. Given that the producers originally claimed they were going to hire Michael Fassbender as Murphy then opted for that one guy who was in The Killing, don't hold your breath. If Edward Norton is already the budget Sean Penn, who's the budget Edward Norton? Vinnie Jones?
Dinna-dinna-dinna-dinna, new Dark Knight Rises stills! Thanks to the enterprising schmo who scanned them from this week's EW.
Click images for full-size pictures
Intriguing news from the Oldboy remake; our friend Sharlto Copley has apparently been offered the villain role, opposite Josh Brolin's vengeful captor. He stands to be the most evil person from South Africa since Joss Ackland in Lethal Weapon 2.
Chris Hemsworth has been talking about (but not really talking about) Thor 2, in particular the aesthetic of Asgard.
"I think of big waterfalls and mountains and a Viking influence, where the Norse mythology kind of grew from. Having that in Asgard is going to make it all the more special and that's what Alan [Taylor] wants to bring to it."
Marvel producer Kevin Feige also weighed in on the movie's themes, namely the relationship between Thor and Natalie Portman's character.
"[Thor's maturity] is sort of the crux of the whole sequel and it’s what Hemsworth is most excited about diving into, and it's what is the heart of story; it's Thor and Jane, to continue that dynamic. Really they were only together for three days, and do they love each other? Do they like each other? Do they know each other?"
Sorry Kevin, but I really don't give a shit about the Norse God of Thunder's feelings. Can't he fight The Wolfman or something instead? At least there's Captain America 2 to look forward to. Hey Kev, what's the haps with Steve Rogers' new movie?
"The primary storyline takes place post-Avengers, Steve figuring out his place in the world. Tony goes back to Malibu, Thor goes back to Asgard, but there are a number of people who stay in S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve, for the time being, is going to be one of them."
Talking of Tony Stark, Iron Man 3 looks likely to feature Ben Kingsley as the Mandarin after all; a casting call listing "a special need for those of Chinese as well as Middle Eastern descents" has just gone out for shooting. Either that or Stark has an exotic new harem in mind.
Our last Marvel update concerns one more property on Marvel's books, Guardians Of The Galaxy; speculation is that it'll be given a release date very soon. It's fair to say it features lesser-known Marvel heroes, like Star-Lord, Drax the Destroyer, Gamora, Groot and Rocket Raccoon. Unbelievably, I didn't make any of those up.
Ridley Scott's The Counselor, which I absolutely will not shut up about until release, now has an even more mindfuckingly amazing cast. Joining Michael Fassbender, Jeremy Renner and Natalie Portman are Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem and Angelina Jolie. I'm surprised the whole movie hasn't combusted in a sexy explosion.
Finally this week, The Dark Knight Rises has been officially rated PG-13 in America, for "intense sequences of violence and action" and, bizarrely, "sensuality". Whatever could they mean? In other news, here's a full-length shot of Anne Hathaway's Catwoman.