Movie news round-up: The Tom Cruise pity edition
Posted by Ali at 23:25 on 01 Jul 2012
Here's a new picture from Riddick, which I think Vin Diesel is basically making with his own money in his own back garden or something.
It's been a rough week for Tom Cruise, so here's a synopsis for his new sci-fi movie, Oblivion, to remind you he makes films as well as robot wives.
It's all been confirmed that Marvel's second movie to be released in 2014 (after Captain America 2) will be Guardians Of The Galaxy, which sort of sounds like a geeky space opera crossed with N64 classic Starfox. The gang's Wikipedia page says the Guardians consist of "Adam Warlock, Drax the Destroyer, Gamora, Phyla-Vell (the new Quasar), Rocket Raccoon and Groot, with Mantis as support staff." I miss the old Quasar.
"Jack Harper (Cruise) is one of the last few drone repairmen stationed on Earth. Part of a massive operation to extract vital resources after decades of war with a terrifying threat known as the Scavs, Jack’s mission is nearly complete. Living and patrolling the breathtaking skies from thousands of feet above, his soaring existence is brought crashing down when he rescues a beautiful stranger from a downed spacecraft. Her arrival triggers a chain of events that forces him to question everything he knows and puts the fate of humanity in his hands."
Here's a neat little video showing how Seth McFarlane performed the motion-capture for Ted. Not in the video: Seth McFarlane laughing while counting his millions, in total disbelief at how he's been allowed to get away with writing basically the exact same character for over 10 years.
How would sir like some fake news? I'm not sure who's the bigger idiot: the dickwad who created a fake story announcing production on The Big Lebowski 2: The Dude Goes To Washington, or the CBS affiliate who reported it as fact. The 'story' sees The Dude and Walter enlist the help of The Dude's son, a congressman played by Jesse Eisenberg, to stop the closure of their bowling alley by Bill Murray. Hilariously, even in the fake story, "It is still unclear if Tara Reid will return to the screen." Not even in fiction, sweetheart.
The international, unintelligible trailer for Jack Reacher has landed, and TOM KPY3 looks like a great fit as AWEK PN4EP. Give 'em hell, Tom Cruise. You'll be great. Go get 'em, buddy. This will be rendered obsolete by the time the English version is released, most likely tomorrow, so please accept this paltry closing sentence by way of apology.
The sequel to Monsters will now be called Monsters: Dark Continent and the monsters have gone global. STYD have the full synopsis, but here's a sneak peek if you can contain yourselves. Don't leave me!
Apparently Edgar Wright spent a week shooting test-footage for Ant-Man, according to The Hollywood Reporter. It's never been 100% confirmed that Wright will direct a movie based on Henry Pym, the size-shifting scientist who occasionally beats his wife. I can exclusively reveal that Edgar was actually just pointing his shiny cameras at actual ants in order to make then catch fire and die, because he hates them.
"Seven years on from the events of Monsters, and the ‘Infected Zones’ have spread worldwide. Humans have been knocked off the top of the food chain, with disparate communities struggling for survival. American soldiers are being sent abroad to protect US interests from the Monsters, but the war is far from being won."
This clip for The Expendables 2 is brilliant, because we all know that if we were able to pull off the amazing fight skills and gun-play that movie action heroes do, we'd yell "YESSS!" afterwards too.
Outside of The Counselor, the movie I'm most looking forward to next year is Shame director Steven McQueen's Twelve Years A Slave. It's about slavery, duh, and stars Chiwetel Ejiofor, Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender, Paul Dano and now Michael K Williams aka Omar off that there The Wire. The Wire's great. I wish I was watching it instead of writing this.
More Cruise news: his reboot of Van Helsing will be taking cues from Batman and not so much the Hugh Jackman abomination. Screenwriter Alex Kurtzman told ComingSoon.net:
Sounds great, Tom. I'm sure you'll be great in it, too. Chin up, sport.
"The Dark Knight was a major, major corner-turning moment in the way that genre and superhero stories could be told," he continues. "Really grounded in reality. Really grounded in really cool things. That’s what I’d like to do without sacrificing the fantasy element. We aspired to do that as well on Star Trek, and we’d love to do that with Van Helsing."
Having seen and loved 21 Jump Street, I'm now mega excited for Phil Lord and Chris Miller's literal blockbuster, LEGO: The Piece Of Resistance. What's that, you say? They've cast Channing Tatum as LEGO Superman and Will Arnett as LEGO Batman? It gets a big guilty grin from me, but there's a trick missed by not hiring Jonah Hill to play Batman, surely?
Finally this week, Sigourney Weaver has announced that James Cameron is shooting Avatar 2, Avatar 3 and Avatar 4 all at the same time - not only that, but Weaver's character will be in all of them. Great news for her, better news for this guy.