Movie poster round-up: cute chimps, vampire dogs and little monsters


29th October 2011

Welcome to a special Halloween edition of our poster round-up. By which I mean there are a few more spooky and/or ghostly posters than normal, because it's that time of year and those were all that were available. Actually there were loads for the new Alvin & The Chipmunk film but, y'know... hey what's that behind you? *rattle chains* WoOoOohhh!

But first: dawww. Disney Nature's Chimpanzee follows an orphaned chimp, Oscar, as he bonds with a new Father figure, and generally goes about being cute and doing chimpey things. Oscar is so cute - I'd hug him but I'm scared the Ebola virus will turn me inside out and make it look like I'm wearing my anus for a hat.

Imagine the surprise on the set of Contraband when they went to fit Mark Wahlberg with a belt made from cash, only to find he'd brought his own one from home.

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Have you seen the trailer for Chronicle? Somehow they've combined elements of 'found footage' and superhero movies, and made something that could be the first genuinely interesting take on both of those genres in a long time. It's a shame, then, that this poster is super-boring.

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Inspirational basketball doc Elevate is proof that the black man is keeping the white man down (by dunking over us with ease).

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Ahh finally - the horror segment! It seems odd that the Halloween season is used to market films that should be coming out now. Maybe someone working on ParaNorman will read this and realise the height of Summer, when all the schools are off and people are looking for relief from the heat, is the absolute worst time to-oh wait, never mind.

Anna reviewed We Need To Talk About Kevin recently, and by all accounts it was one of the highlights of the London Film Festival. But anything featuring John C. Reilly is instantly ruined for me because a) he is Dr. Steve Brule, and b) at all times he looks like a dishevelled Colm Meaney.

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Fucking... yes! Oh I'm sorry, you think I'm joking when I say how utterly stoked for Vampire Dog I am. His ears look like bat wings!

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Oh Jesus. Posters like this one for The Woman In Black are why I hope I kick the bucket before my girlfriend. Sod rattling around the house on your own, wondering what lurks in every shadowy corner. Also she's the only one who knows what buttons to press on the washing machine, so I'd be doubly-stuffed.

My eyes! The horror! Make it stop!

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