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Movie poster round-up: Judgment, Django and Jesus Stallone

Luke

5th August 2012

It is a fallow period for movie news, which is why this week's movie poster round-up may seem a bit more light than usual. It has nothing at all to do needing an early night after tiring my arms out by putting too much water in the kettle.

Olympspirational sports romance Backwards is all well and good, but by coincidence I'm currently watching Dawson in another water-based movie called Eye Of The Beast - and this one has a lake monster with tentacles, which would have really livened up the boating events at the London 2012 games IMHO.


Another samey poster and I'm starting to run out of things to say about Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained. It still looks good, I guess. Just bloody hurry up nghhh!


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As a non-comics person, my experience of Dredd is confined to the 1995 Stallone movie and the PS2 game, Dredd vs. Death. Both of which were unenjoyable for far too many reasons to list here. But the positive buzz around the new film has me excited that we might finally have "a film that they don't make like anymore". You know what I mean.


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Sadly, Lawless isn't a documentary about the life and times of Xena: Warrior Princess star Lucy Lawless, rather it's a gangster movie with Shia Labeouf. There is only one appropriate response to this news: click here.


Nice to see the cartoon gun Bob Hoskins used in Who Framed Roger Rabbit turning up in Looper...


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Nobody Walks looks like another one of those sort of movies, starring those sort of people. The point I'm trying to make is sometimes a poster will come along that gets you excited for a film, but other times you feel like you've sat through an hour and a half of hipster emo tedium just from looking at a picture. I bet John Krasinski wears the wackiest anorak/scarf combo in this one.


De Niro is just taking the piss now really, isn't he.


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And finally; I'm not sure what the point of a poster for The Expendables 2 themed like The Last Supper is, but imagine if all this was being beamed out into space, collated over the course of a millenia by an advanced alien civilisation trying to learn about humankind before making first contact. They'd probably do the Universe a favour and blast our planet to dust instead.


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