Movie poster round-up: reboots, disasters and slapping my pitch up

Before we begin this week's poster round-up, TheShiznit.co.uk would like to issue an apology. Yesterday, in lieu of anything interesting or insightful to say, one of our number saw fit to post a topless picture of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. We would like to assure our readers we are staunch supporters of women's rights, and are against the objectification of women in the media. Hopefully this sordid incident has not skewed your view of our website. You are all beautiful and unique flowers. Thank you.

Ad-addled dystopian thriller Branded looks like The Matrix meets Mad Men. Which is awesome in principle until you realise it's The Matrix Revolutions.


Doing some research into 2 Days In New York (i.e. looking it up on IMDB) and it appears to be a sequel to an earlier film called 2 Days In Paris, in which Julie Delpy has a different beau. At this rate we can expect a 2 Days In London sometime around 2015, where she's moved on to some lovable Hugh Grant-esque English rogue. BRB signing up for acting lessons.


For A Good Time, Call... Batman? It's Batman isn't it.


Todd Berger's apocalytic comedy It's A Disaster is either really confident it will win over the critics, or being really helpful by coming with a built-in lazy headline pun. Either way I'm sure it'll be really something.


Sure Rise Of The Guardians is a film for kids, but if I ever see the Easter Bunny in my garden with sharpened sticks and a bunch of hand grenades, I'm going to go 'Ryan Gosling in Drive' on it.


The roll call on this poster for Soldiers Of Fortune is so confusing - since when did Dominic Monaghan have pigtails?


It's been about five minutes since a poster for The Amazing Spider-Man was released, so here's a new one featuring - surprise! - Spiddles and Gwen Stacy hanging out above New York. I guess originality isn't the strongest suit of a retreading of an origin story in a reboot of a worn-out trilogy based on a half-century old comic book.


Whoever designed this poster for The Watch clearly borrowed their depth perception from M. C. Escher (sorry if you are a cyclops).


Ah, finally - a good poster! Although this one for found footage horror compendium V/H/S takes a turn for the depressing when you realise you'll need to explain to anyone currently too young to watch it what a VHS cassette actually is. Or was. Weep.


And finally; this poster for Pitch Perfect is such a rip of Bridesmaids, it's almost like they want to trick women into seeing it even though the plots are completely different. Still, at least it's got cleavage and short, short skirts. That's right I lied, all men are pigs. Especially us. In fact you should probably consider becoming lesbians. Oh go on. Please?