Movie poster round-up: Total Recall, Taken 2 and Turtle Power

This week was a bumper week for movie poster releases. Which is a shame because I only had time to write sarcastic nonsense about half a dozen or so.

I'm not much of a book person, but we have got a copy of Anna Karenina in the house so I asked my girlfriend what it was about and here's what she said, verbatim: "oh you know, class and stuff yadda yadda yadda. It's Russian, so you know, tragedy". Then she made a fake crying motion.


In The Words, sexy old Bradley Cooper is having trouble with those three little words ladies love to hear. It's alright Brad, we've all been there.


Hey, kids! All the animals in Ice Age: Continental Drift are dead now.


If this poster for Taken 2 tells us anything, it's that Liam Neeson has a gun for a penis and will spray bullets all over your face just for looking at him funny.


Can we all agree that from now on that the use of "inspired by actual events" should be reserved for films where something you'd never believe could happen actually happens? Unless Won't Back Down tells the story of turtle-esque humanoid Maggie Gyllenhaal giving birth to a litter of live turtles, in which case carry on...


Not being American, African-American or religious, I'm probably the least-qualified person in the world to comment on Spike Lee's Red Hook Summer. Although I will say that the synopsis sounds a bit like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air in reverse. I said a bit.


And finally; marketing for the Total Recall remake has stepped up a notch, with a buttload of posters offering to make all your fantasies come true. There wasn't enough room to post them all (full gallery here) so I picked a few favourites instead. That's right, I like bikinis and space stuff.