Rhys Ifans cast as Spider-Man villain

Also as Albert Steptoe by the looks of it.

Professional Welshman Rhys Ifans has been cast as the yet-to-be revealed villain in the Spider-Man reboot. I think we can all agree this is down to his sterling work in Garfield 2 and Nanny McPhee. And that he was probably cheap. BURN!

No clues as to who Ifans will play, but we can take it as read we won't be seeing any of the villains already seen in the franchise to date: that rules of the Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Venom and The Sandman. So, Electro, then? Or maybe The Lizard? I'm still holding onto the hope that someone, anyone will cast Bruce Campbell as Mysterio. It's never too late.

Despite his Steptoe-esque appearance (never forget: this man stuck Sienna Miller), Ifans has a fairly respectable CV and has developed into quite the supporting actor in high-cred indies like Greenberg and Mr Nice. I'm not sure the world is ready for a Welsh supervillain, though. It's a good thing we'll have to wear 3D glasses for the film, because, with that accent, Ifans' bad guy is going to be generating a lot of spittle.

Look, I just hate the Welsh, okay? Get your own country, idiots.