Stop everything: Johnny Depp is on a boat, motherfucker

Here's the first picture from The Tourist, starring Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. Said Depp: "I'm on a boat motherfucker, take a look at me, straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea."

I'll be honest with you gang, The Tourist isn't exactly hitting my radar at the moment, and despite an A-list pairing of Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp, and this stellar first photo, I'm coming up a blank. I'm told the director is Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, who sounds like a Steve Martin character from the '80s, but is actually the director of The Lives Of Others, so hey ho.

The Tourist isn't helped by an uber-vague synopsis, which only hints at a plot involving Depp's heartbroken Venice tourist being enraptured by Jolie's mysterious beauty. Come on guys: no robots? No dragons? The last movie I saw set in Venice had Stephen Baldwin and a killer shark. You're not even trying.