Top Gun 2: Homoerotic Boogaloo may be happening

To be fair, that sequel subtitle is just a rumour at the moment. Started by me.

A follow-up to Bruckheimer's stupidly cheesy military pilot film has been in various stages over the years, with most of us praying to whichever crazy volcano god Tom Cruise worships that it would never see the light of day.

But now it seems that Paramount studios may finally get a bromantically-charged sequel to take off (y'see? Y'SEE?!) with the miniscule mega-producer involved again, along with original director Tony Scott, Usual Suspects and Valkyrie scribe Christopher McQuarrie and, yep you guessed it, Maverick himself interested in returning for "a small role". Let's be honest Tom, "small roles" are all you can really play, aren't they? Jeez, I'm all about the height jokes at the moment.

So let me get this straight, Bruckheimer, Scott and Cruise, all of whom have been suffering from box office figures recently, suddenly show an interest in making a sequel to one of their biggest hits? Shocking. Val Kilmer must be licking the windows at Paramount offices too.

And talking of bombs, military pilots don't really take part in mid-air fights any more, do they? Surely, it's all carpet bombing and missiles? Oh well, that just leaves more screen-time for shirtless volleyball and gay innuendo. (*snigger*) 'Cockpit'.