Van Damme! Lundgren! Universal Soldier: Regeneration trailer!

JCVD and Dolph Lundgren are back and flabbier than ever in this straight-to-DVD instalment of the Universal Soldier series. Watch the trailer after the break and marvel at how even Voiceover Guy can't work up enough excitement for the film.

Universal Soldier: Regeneration sees former Ultimate Fighting Champion Andrei 'The Pit Bull' Arlovski set the scene as an elite killing machine who seizes the Chernobyl nuclear reactor on behalf of terrorists.

The only one that can stop this ultimate murderous badass is Luc Deveraux (Van Damme) who has been decommissioned for years (which as far as I can tell just means he is much older and doesn't look like he can quite reach those high kicks anymore).

So why recall Deveraux for the job? Because he's the best there is, dammit! Somehow, in the years that have passed since being stored away, any advancements in anti-terrorist soldiers have never bettered the original Belgian UniSol from 1992. It's like a metaphor for the franchise itself.

And, of course, if you wheel out one down-on-his-luck action star, you have to wheel out another one for a flabby showdown. Step up, Lundgren – you're on in five.

After Van Damme turned down a part in The Expendables, I hope somewhere Sly Stallone sees this trailer and laughs his ass off.