Will Smith goes full retard


10th November 2009

Failing to take fellow black man Sgt. Osiris' advice, Will Smith is to dip his toe in retard pond in an adaptation of Flowers For Algernon. Stupid is as stupid does, but it ain't half as stupid as Bad Boys 3, so carry on.

With news from Latino Review that Steven Spielberg and Will Smith's remake of Oldboy has stalled - couldn't shoehorn incest into a PG13 movie, guys? - Smith is reportedly ready to star in Flowers For Algernon.

The 1958 novel by Daniel Keyes tells the story of a mentally disabled young man who is used as a test subject for a procedure that raises human intelligence. Turned super-intelligent, Algernon quickly realises life as a boffo is no better than life as a spaz. Put Oscars here, please. (*points to Will Smith's downstairs toilet*).

Smith will team up with director Gabriele Muccino, the man (!) behind his last two sappy tear-jerkers, the surprisingly good The Pursuit Of Happyness and the unsurprisingly terrible Seven Pounds. All signs point to a maudlin drama angling for a bald golden guy.

Will Smith is that most frustrating actor; one who is capable of incredible things (Ali, Six Degrees Of Separation) but prefers to slum it in either lame-brained action wank-fests (Bad Boys, I Am Legend) or sentimental dramas like the above. Algernon seems like the kind of role that anyone seeking a cast-iron Oscar nomination would seek out; worthy, yes, but not especially challenging.

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