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Craig Fairbrass

News, Reviews & Features

  • Review: Avengement roundhouse kicks the dictionary in the throat

    Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 3rd October 2019

    The most tense pub situation I've ever been in was on a Sunday morning in a Wetherspoons, in Bristol. I'd gone there for breakfast despite the owner's recent stance on Brexit; the promise of free coffee refills enough to overcome any amount of bigotry. I joined the queue at the self-serve machine and edged my way forward, but two people shy of my goal disaster struck: the machine had stopped working. The air turned immediately oppressive, and remained so for several minutes until an extremely nervous man came to put new beans in the machine under the watchful, angry, twitchy eyes of the entire pub. It's no exaggeration to say if he'd spilled a single bean the place would have erupted in an orgy of savage violence. So in a way I feel like I have already lived through the events of Avengement, aka the sweariest fucking film ever cunting made.

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  • White Noise: The Light

    Movie Review | Ali | 12th January 2007

    Let's face it, without crappy sequels to bitch about, the internet would be a desolate wasteland populated by bright young teens exchanging smileys and looking at pictures of kittens - shite movies are why we're here. The fact that movies like White Noise: The Light exist is not what rankles me, rather the fact that they're see...

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